I don't know how to express interest

Post Reply New Topic

I can make friends without too much difficulty, usually with people with similar interests, but I don't know how to express romantic interest.

Do you often actually feel romantic interest in another person?

If not, I wouldn’t push the issue within myself. Relationships without motivation really suck.

I’ve had relationships with women who were only “with me” out of necessity, rather than passion. A recipe for disaster.

I guess, if I feel romantic with another person, that I might comment about how pretty, say, that person’s eyes are, if they are actually pretty. Within the context of a conversation, not by itself.

When you feel romantic, do you dig the person’s face, feel like nuzzling her nose or something?

I feel like I experience two types of attraction.

The first is purely shallow and doesn't require an emotional connection. I mentally acknowledge this but I otherwise ignore it.

Whereas, the second is when I become friends with someone and develop a physical interest in them. This is an annoyance for me, as I don't know how to communicate this feeling so I don't. When I feel like this, I feel like being close to them. Holding their hand, holding them, playing with their hair, I daydream about the idea of kissing them which makes me stupidly giddy. Yet there's never a good time to communicate that and I never want to ruin the friendship so I just... find it an annoying intrusion.

It sounds like you do have these feelings….and I’m sure it’s frustrating at times.

You’re going through an almost identical dilemma as many guys go through. Do I? When is the “right time”?

I guess I would, first, make sure your romantic interest is gay. Then maybe talk about relationships in general. Especially if she starts caressing you or whatever, I would maybe take her hand and caress it.

Sincere compliments are nice, too. Like “you have pretty eyes.” If she says “thank you” and looks you in the eye, then I’d take her hand and bring it towards you lips. If she doesn’t pull back, bring that hand to your lips, and kiss it.

(Note: I’m not “getting off” on this. Just describing what I would do to express my interest).

Maybe a female friend can have a private conversation with them, expressing the interest for you. That's what girls/women often did in my case.

I didn't know how to express interest either. So when I met with a woman (and her friends) who expressed interest in me, I didn't know what to say. So I simply touched her hand while no one was looking, because I felt like I need to act before she leaves again.