Autistic women in abusive relationships!

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Apparently although autistic women have an easier time getting dates many are actually in abusive relationships with the wrong partner.

Have any women on wrong planet experienced something similar to this?

No, I've only experienced abusive friendships.

Read Love and Dating, Adult Issues, The Haven, The Women's Forum, Members Only, and GAD.

Women have written extensively about this topic.
Members have posted news stories / research as well.

There’s lots of abuse of women by men all over the world.

and by other women ^

Of course!

Abuse seems to be more common among autistic women compared to NT women. I think it's due to them being more likely to be dependant on partners and having a harder time recognising warning signs.

I agree we have a hard time recognising warning signs.
For example I had the lowest score my assessor had ever seen for "reading the mind in the eyes".
I'm face blind and don't make eye contact to judge people.
I'm not good with predictions or inference.
I'm not a visual learner or even an auditory learner (I can't learn by watching people or listening.)
I only learn by reading words.
Most people don't present themselves to me as words.

I don't know about "being dependent on partners".
My problem was that I was successful and a hard worker.
That made people dependent on me.
People used and exploited me for money or other security like emotional labour.
Many autistic people are hardworking and successful so we're considered easy targets.
Narcissists are attracted to us because we usually have a lot that they can take.

I know all the warning signs but I'm quite easily manipulated emotionally, even if I don't believe them I still pretend to, to keep the peace and to keep them happy. So basically I'll put their needs before my own and I can be too forgiving. That's probably the reason I'd end up in an abusive relationship, if I ever do.

But, then again, once I'm used to someone and know them too well I find it gets easier to assert myself and tell them how it is. So if I were in an abusive relationship it probably wouldn't last long, as I am extremely sensitive to moods and body language, and would get so worked up and anxious that I'd probably get myself out of the relationship.

I’m not sure about having an easier time getting a date. That was never easy for me, but yes, I was in an abusive longterm relationship.

I was shy, naïve, and vulnerable.

Hot take: if Autistic women were more willing to try having relationships with Autistic partners rather than NTs, the relationsjips would have a lower chance of being abusive.

Wait, why do you say that?

My most abusive partners were neurodivergent.

I'm not saying all ND are abusive, but they're not excluded from the mix, male or female.

Why do you think that autistic women are unwilling to have relationships with autistic men? I highly doubt that’s the case. It’s certainly not with me.

Why would they have a lower risk of abuse? Just because a person is ND doesn’t mean they’re a good person.

I guess there's less chance of an autistic person being NPD.
Maybe that's what he meant.

I suppose that’s likely.

It sounds a bit like victim-blaming to me, though.

iv been in abusive relationships that started off with the man feeling too attracted to my looks then just enjoying the sex and not loving me

my sons father was the most abusive
he locked me in the cupboard sometimes all day and then dragged me out and beat me and pooped on me

the best thing he ever gave me was my son