neopsytox wrote:
I am an Aspie femme. Can't speak for others, BUT as far as dating goes, I tend to be quite attentive and loyal, but then again, thats how I am with friendships, too, eventhough they tend to...disappear.
I have problems with being touched (even handshakes), but am trying to work on such things as its always the thing that destroys my relationships (being a "prude"), though the relationships tend to last at least a year...Not to say that I do not have the most intense libido, but it feels awkward to pursue it, because I know that the communication that enhances the relationship will die...and inevitably, they will leave anyway. I do have a problem, however, with aggressively seducing the person initially in the hopes that they will be so blinded by their passion that my strangeness isn't as readily apparent, but after that, not even kissing.
People tend to be drawn to me, (maybe its the childlike innocence?) so I have to be cautious of those I choose to speak with, because it can be a dangerous situation when hormones run rampant. I have the typical Aspie problems concerning "how to do small talk," because, basically, I just jump right in, and if the connection isn't deep initially, if there isn't a bond, I move on to someone else. Yet, if not engaged in conversation with one of these people, I stay completely silent and withdrawn.
All I really want is someone who is loyal to be my life companion, I suppose, without the pressures of being "traditional," but usually they want this deep commitment right away and speak with stars in their eyes about how intense their love is for me. The attention is great and the gesture is nice, but I know it isn't love...as they never know or understand me, so I stay close to them as a friend and confidant, but try to detach myself from getting caught up in their daydream.
My personality is quirky. I say and think the strangest things and am bursting with a neverending stream of ideas and projects. I research and am interested in everything under the sun, may speak too much at times, and not enough at others. My personality flips from playful and fun to serious and analytical in a pinch. Also, this may be an issue inwhich others can identify, I can turn my emotions on or off in an instant, and sometimes my emotions come on very strong.
Being of the "extreme male" mind, my gender identity or sexual preference was questioned throughout life, until I came across a description on Wikipedia of this syndrome. I dress androgynously with artistic flare, seem conservative but have a liberal tongue, and am what some may call a "Prince." This is from the male brain aspect, I suppose, but I am definitely heterosexual as the personality of females do not intrigue me in the slightest.
In addition, I like the quiet and engaging in discussion on any current obsessions or passions, because to see someone else spark, makes me come to life. I prefer to stay indoors and away from large company as I feel awkward around people, so one person is fine for me.
Oh yes, I get the words: enigma, weird, eccentric, and intimidating thrown my way all the time, sometimes adoringly, especially in the beginning, but usually in an obviously negative tone.
I am unaware whether I am full-blown or borderline, but I do know that I obsess, research, and analyze just a bit too much, and I inevitably loose people in my life for the same reason they were attracted to me, my peculiarities, and yet, I still actively seek to find that one person who truly "gets" and accepts me.
Excuse the length.
Until a few days ago, I lived in Houston. I live in Wichita Falls now, attending Midwestern State University.
Tim
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26 Aug 2007, 5:31 pm
Also nice to see another Texan on WP.
