The straw that broke the camel's back

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After two years, I am officially done with my boyfriend because I am not number 1 on his list. He's also told me before that he loves me but isn't in love with me. At times he's made it sound like the opposite is true but I think he just wants to fool around. On several occasions, he's led me around about getting together at a said time before either bailing or standing me up.

Last weekend was the straw that broke the camel's back. I had planned a Thanksgiving dinner date at home and spent the entire day preparing. Then about 45 minutes out from the meeting time, he texted me the sick emoji. So, I set some boundaries with him.

Hi.

I'm sorry you're dealing with someone like that. I think you are doing the right thing, he doesn't sound like he prioritises you. The Thanksgiving dinner date sounds like a good time to set boundaries and review your position with him.

He's an emotional blackmailer. Cut him loose.

TimTex:

I broke it off with him today and though I am sad, he doesn't respect me and he's manipulative. Meanwhile, he has other problems of his own.

That sounds like the right thing to do. Take care of yourself Summer Twilight.

Find a guy who treats you better.

How does a straw break a camels back? Doesn't it need more than one straw?

Straw that broke the camel's back: meaning

Think I get the meaning.

The straw that broke the camel’s back means that I got tired of putting up with him games. I got fed up with being treated like a doormat.

I have to say I think we should focus on supporting Summer Twilight and not discussing the meaning of idioms. Because it annoys me when that happens in my posts.

Sweet Pea hugs

It's good that you broke up with him so you can focus your time on meeting someone who can provide you what you're looking for.

It's common courtesy to at least give someone notice (as early as possible) before cancelling plans. And if him cancelling plans is a common thing, he's just taking you for granted.

Him saying that shows that he's either afraid of commitment, or just isn't interested in you. Maybe he loves some of the things you do for him, but doesn't necessarily love you for who you are. (And this has been going on for 2 years. If it were 2 months and he wasn't ready to say he's in love with you, that's totally understandable, but how do he go on for 2 years with someone you don't love?).

He told me that last year and so we decided to hang out and go back to being friends. Then a few weeks later, we went to kissing and making out. Anyway, my problem was I had attempted to make something work that he didn't take seriously. Looking back, the relationship was pretty one-sided and we only seemed to get together on his terms. He also never really took me on dates and never seemed interested when I made suggestions. There were lots of times when we would make plans and he would either bail or stand me up. Then we were a very detached couple even though we did kiss and hold hands.

He was also very controlling when we were together and didn't respect me or my boundaries. It also recently came to the surface that wanted an open relationship. It's my understanding that he started flirting with a close friend of mine when he started, "Seeing me."

Now regarding my being single again, I don't mind. I have been single before and I have gone through phases where it bothered me. After investing two years of my life, only to get treated like that, no thank you.

However, I am very hurt

Last edited by Summer_Twilight on 05 Dec 2023, 12:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That tells me all I need to know. He wants 'Friends with Benefits' or 'F*ckbuddies' not an equal, loving partnership.

I'm glad you have figured him out and moved on. It sounds very healthy and sensible.

We were "Friends with benefits" and we made out but we never made it to 4th base. He wanted to do more of the kinky types of things but I never allowed it.