I have a girlfriend!! !! !!

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Joined: 8 Jul 2016
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08 Nov 2023, 8:12 pm

I couldn’t resist telling my fellow WP users. I met her at a Halloween party last week. I went up to her and started awkwardly making conversation. She was like “why are you asking me all this? Just say it”. So I told her how I felt. Her and I went out that night and things have gone alright since.

So, there it is…. Things are looking up for CBB for once!

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IsabellaLinton
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08 Nov 2023, 8:19 pm

CubsBullsBears wrote:

That's the way to do it!!

What do you like about her so far?

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CubsBullsBears
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08 Nov 2023, 8:38 pm

She’s pretty, her and I are able to have conversations and we’re quite alike in some ways.

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Early 20s male with Asperger’s and what feels like a mood disorder

TwilightPrincess
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08 Nov 2023, 8:49 pm

That’s great news!

blitzkrieg
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08 Nov 2023, 10:05 pm

Good luck with your new date, CBB.

funeralxempire
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08 Nov 2023, 10:31 pm

Congrats.

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WantToHaveALife
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09 Nov 2023, 5:55 pm

well your doing better than lots of other men on the spectrum, its not unusual and not unheard of for lots of autistic men to surpass their mid-20s or older, enter 30s and older and have never been with anyone, your more advanced socially. I have a feeling she's gonna be better than my ex was, even though she didn't feel like a true GF.

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09 Nov 2023, 6:01 pm

Nice!

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dragonsanddemons
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09 Nov 2023, 6:18 pm

:cheers:

I hope things continue to go well for you two

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MaxE
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10 Nov 2023, 1:50 pm

Assuming you're (still) in a relationship, you are going to have to develop some new habits.

You need to be sensitive to her feelings. Without being weird about it (more easily said than done) you must try to know how she feels about things that relate to her relationship with you. You may be inclined to assume she feels certain ways about things without actually knowing the truth. In particular you need to be careful to not hurt her feelings via an offhand remark. She may take things you say seriously that weren't meant seriously. She needs a certain degree of reassurance that you really like her. You may think she's the most adorable creature on Earth, but she probably doesn't see herself that way. And don't assume she always wants to do what you want to do. Make certain you know what she wants to do. And don't demand more of her attention than she can give. Conversely, make certain she gets your attention even if you feel overwhelmed. At times, you probably WILL feel overwhelmed.

I don't know how autistic you are, but you should go on the Internet and look for examples of women complaining about autistic boyfriends. Don't be one of those dudes.

Hope this helps!

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TwilightPrincess
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10 Nov 2023, 1:57 pm

He’s not expressed concern or asked for any advice.

Every woman is different. You can find people complaining about anything online.

MaxE
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10 Nov 2023, 2:31 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:

He’s not expressed concern or asked for any advice.

Every woman is different. You can find people complaining about anything online.

From experience I happen to know he needs the advice. But fine, tell him to ignore me if that's going to make his life better.

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CubsBullsBears
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10 Nov 2023, 4:06 pm

MaxE wrote:

I have in fact been doing that. I asked to touch her the first time I did, same with when I kissed her the first time. Last night after I had been spending several hours with her, I told her how I still like to have alone time. I wanted to see how bothered she would be if I abrubtly left. It didn't seem to bother her. At least on the surface, she seems very chill about how often her and I hang out together and when I decide to leave.

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Last edited by CubsBullsBears on 10 Nov 2023, 4:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MaxE
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10 Nov 2023, 4:10 pm

CubsBullsBears wrote:

MaxE wrote:

I have in fact been doing that. I asked to touch her the first time I did, same with when I kissed her the first time. Last night after I had been spending several hours with her, I like to have alone time. I wanted to see how bothered she would be if I abrubtly left. It didn't seem to bother her. At least on the surface, she seems very chill about how often her and I hang out together.

Was your departure deliberately abrupt? I hope you at tried to find out how she felt about it. For her, that might have been upsetting.

EDIT she may have thought you were angry. Women often react to autistic male behavior as anger. I'd be careful.

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CubsBullsBears
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10 Nov 2023, 4:30 pm

MaxE wrote:

CubsBullsBears wrote:

MaxE wrote:

I edited the previous comment to have it make more sense for you.

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MaxE
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10 Nov 2023, 5:24 pm

CubsBullsBears wrote:

MaxE wrote:

CubsBullsBears wrote:

have in fact been doing that. I asked to touch her the first time I did, same with when I kissed her the first time. Last night after I had been spending several hours with her, I like to have alone time. I wanted to see how bothered she would be if I abrubtly left. It didn't seem to bother her. At least on the surface, she seems very chill about how often her and I hang out together.

I edited the previous comment to have it make more sense for you.

That does make more sense. Well I wish you luck!

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