Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

Floortile
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 13 Jan 2024
Gender: Female
Posts: 1
Location: Uk

13 Jan 2024, 7:25 am

My boyfriend has confirmed dyslexia dyspraxia but his parents think he is Asperger’s. We have been together nearly 4 years. He tells me he loves me , is affectionate, cannot manage time or be organised, which I can overlook . However if there is a disagreement he cuts me off and won’t speak to me until I make the first move to sort it . Then only I say sorry for my part and he tells me I must change. We had a fab Xmas went away had a great time. My parents are divorcing , which he feels is nothing as everyone does it. My mother suggested me and her going awag for a few days. I messaged him to tell him this and he ignored me . When I questioned him he said he felt my mother was irresponsible with her money and should be paying the mortgage. My mother gave us money to go away and he readily accepted it, even asked her to transfer it to him. She also bought nice Xmas presents which he accepted. I was not happy with his remarks and we did not speak again with 3 days later me holding out the branch . He came to my house and we ironed it out with him agreeing to speak to my mother. He went nuts when he found out I had told my mother what he said with him saying my mother woukd take offence and tell people what he had said . She’s done none of those things . I thought it was sorted . We were fine , he went away for the weekend and then hardly spoke to me . I sent a message saying remember me . He went nuts again saying I was sarcastic and never changed . I apologised again. Next day I messaged him and said do you love me. He said he did but was unsure of the relationship. I asked him to call me, in twenty minutes he went from love you but unhappy over some aspects to don’t love you, you and your family being me so much drama. He asks me to change stuff and I never do and he never wants to see me again. He said terrible things about my family. And has not contacted me since and blocked me on everything. Four years and just dumped .is this normal for an Asperger’s to be so verbally aggressive and abusive and just cut me off. I feel worthless



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 28,482
Location: Hell

13 Jan 2024, 8:55 am

I’m not excusing his behavior or anything, but to be fair, I can understand why he’d be upset that you told your mom things he had said. It would feel like a violation of trust if I were him.

It’s probably about as normal for a person with Asperger’s to be abusive and verbally aggressive as anyone else.


_________________
“I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems.”
— Elton John


Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 13 Jan 2024, 9:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

bee33
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,862

13 Jan 2024, 9:20 am

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. His actions are very hurtful and seem like an outsize reaction to an argument. It's hard to say whether this could be due to autism. Some people with autism have a hard time understanding other people's feelings, but it's usually not mean spirited. But it could be that his inability to understand how his actions are affecting you is causing him to act this way.



blitzkrieg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,774
Location: United Kingdom

13 Jan 2024, 9:29 am

4 years is a long time.

Perhaps he just isn't feeling the relationship anymore and this incident was the final straw that broke the camel's back, as the saying goes?



DirkGently69
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Nov 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 899
Location: Australia

13 Jan 2024, 4:08 pm

Even autistic people can be as*holes. It sounds like an abusive relationship, even taking into account that he is autistic. Whilst four years is a long time, I think you should also consider moving on. If he has blocked you on everything, then I would try and move on with your life and find someone better.