Confidence is disposable these days

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They say confidence is all a man needs to get a woman’s interest. However do you agree that these days women find confidence unimportant/disposable?

Genuine confidence is really rare. Many men mistake arrogance and ignorance for confidence and are often masking a deep insecurity which might be why women find them less attractive.

I can't speak for what women find attractive though.

But from my perspective the most attractive thing I know is confidence. If we're just talking about physical attraction, and as this is a Jamesy thread I suspect we are, then I find if a woman is confident in her body and sexuality, the shape of her body is less important. I see no reason why that wouldn't be the case in the other direction.

Last edited by DuckHairback on 09 Dec 2023, 10:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

I don't even completely understand the things I find attractive, I won't try to guess for half of humanity.

I suspect though that it depends on the woman everyone is different.

Different women value different qualities in men

Some precious lil "people" act like "confidence not proportional to competence"

I care more about other traits like kindness, empathy, a keen sense of humor, and intelligence.

I think that's called arrogance.


I tend to find confident women less attractive. Probably because a lot of the confident women I known or see in the media seem stuck-up, shallow, & superficial.


People have different ideas about what confidence is. Lots think I lack confidence because I understand & accept that I do have various limitations due to disabilities & I know from experience that most others will not give me a decent chance. However I also know I have some relationships strengths & believed that most women would love me if they were willing to give me a real chance & try & meet me halfway.

There are some women who are frightened by a man who's overconfident.

You frame this question in a black or white way. That confidence is either all you need, or that it's disposible.

Having a healthy confidence is an advantage. But it's not the only factor

I'll put it like this. Is having a good pair of running shoes all that you need to win a marathon? No. But is it a meaningful advantage? Absolutely.

That depends on the type of shoes and the type of marathon terrain one is running on. There are a large number of shoes designed for specific types of terrain. Not all marathons will be run on tarmac, so it varies, and runners may find they need to adapt their shoe choice for the course they are on.

True, but that extends beyond the scope of the point I was making.

Having a good pair of shoes isn't going to make you win a marathon if you suck at running. But that doesn't mean you should go barefoot.

It would take me a few days to walk a marathon!

Confidence. From what I understand, women do in general look for confident men because inwardly they look for a man who can provide. Now this may not be the aspect that all women look for and thank God for that!

Most of us are looking for that special someone to "Complete" our lives...

Also, you shouldn't be confident just because it's a trait women like.

You should be confident for your own benefit. You're doing it for your own health and happiness. Not just to impress someone.

Be confident regardless of whether you're single or not. Be confident regardless of who it does or doesn't attract.

Like yourself no matter what.
Be your own friend no matter what.
Have faith in yourself no matter what.

Don't let a date with some person be the deciding factor of your confidence.

My gf is one of them.

I think I get it MG, there's different types of confidence & different forms can be better in different situations. But what you mean Minervx is that confidence is not the only factor to consider but confidence can be quit helpful sometimes.

Yes. I was actually sidelined into thinking about shoes but I knew there was a point I was making! Haha! Thanks for reminding me what I was talking about!