Did autism issues and bad life experiences make life harder.

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I have a lot of issues of feeling undesirable to women. And feeling completely disgusting to them in that I'd be nothing but repulsive. A lot of bad life experiences and health issues have made this worse but when I was younger better looking and healthier I already felt this way. I also feel inferior to the opposite sex and can't handle rejection well so I don't approach women. My life is annoying and hard as hell I feel disgusting and undesirable and I feel okay with my sense of inferiority but people don't understand it and see it as negative when I don't. My life is impossible, I don't know how to meet people or have relationships at all. I honestly ignore women and treat them like they don't exist. And I fear approaching them anyways. I'd rather have a woman who fits what I've wanted in a partner to just talk to me instead and open the door to dating. I can't approach women I feel awkward and creepy. I already feel ugly and undesirable. Yet because I'm a man people don't understand how worthless and disgusting I feel and have trouble beleiving those are the feelings and experience I have. But that's really how I feel.

If you appear negative AND if you ignore women, you might not seem very approachable.

I can relate to feeling undesirable and worse. I feel that way sometimes too, so you aren’t alone with that. In any case, working on personal goals could help you feel more confident which could increase your chances of attracting someone. Looking for new ways/opportunities to meet people might help too.

People also don't come off as if they are that interested anyways but it could also be living in a large city. It's also weird when you reach your forties you don't run into a lot of people you're age I swear people are always either older or younger and I gave up on dating sites because nobody talks to you. My other issue is I have a physical disability.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Are there any groups/meetups for autistics in your city? They could be a good way to meet new people.

I don't know much about them I have to look into it.

I’d advise just to look for female friends and practice talking to them. If you focus on friendship only and forget about the dating aspect, you’ll feel less negative about yourself and less under pressure. As you say it may open the door to other things, if you are able to be friends first. If a woman is unkind towards attempts at friendship she isn’t worth your time anyway, but there are plenty of nice people out there.