Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

What makes the difference between being in a relationship or

Page 1 of 1 [ 13 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,062
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

03 Nov 2024, 7:51 pm

not

Why are most of my friends married while I am just now getting to that point?

The answer is...because they have learned how to be high-value women and easily attracted men!! !

This is what separates the single women from the married women!

I believe ALL (or at least 99.9%) of my married friends and neighbors did NOT get there on their own

They most likely enlisted the help of a dating coach who taught them how to become high-value women

The whole point of Anita telling me to go to the therapist AND for me to prioritize self-care was to help me become the best possible version of myself (high-value woman) so that I could find love with a high-value man

It obviously worked because here I am now with David preparing to get married in 2 years!

What do you guys think?

Thanks in advance!! !



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,857
Location: Hell

03 Nov 2024, 8:05 pm

Most people who are married did not enlist the help of dating coaches. They simply met someone they hit it off with, fell in love, and got married. People intrinsically have “high value.” That’s not to say that many don’t have things they want to work on which could increase their chances of finding someone and sustaining a relationship, but people are valuable as they are. IMO, it’s more about finding someone who likes (and eventually loves) you flaws and all and vice versa.



MatchboxVagabond
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Mar 2023
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,728

03 Nov 2024, 8:26 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Most people who are married did not enlist the help of dating coaches. They simply met someone they hit it off with, fell in love, and got married. People intrinsically have “high value.” That’s not to say that many don’t have things they want to work on which could increase their chances of finding someone and sustaining a relationship, but people are valuable as they are. IMO, it’s more about finding someone who likes (and eventually loves) you flaws and all and vice versa.


TBH, I think that depends where you're located. If you've got a pretty even number of men to women, then a dating coach isn't necessary, but as the numbers start to diverge such measures become a practical matter. Especially in areas like this where people just don't talk to strangers.



Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,062
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

03 Nov 2024, 8:31 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Most people who are married did not enlist the help of dating coaches. They simply met someone they hit it off with, fell in love, and got married. People intrinsically have “high value.” That’s not to say that many don’t have things they want to work on which could increase their chances of finding someone and sustaining a relationship, but people are valuable as they are. IMO, it’s more about finding someone who likes (and eventually loves) you flaws and all and vice versa.


That is true...

My childhood friend Jealene met her husband on a dating app but she had to go through a LOT of men in order to find him

My neighbor Anita met her husband when they were kids then their paths crossed again as adults which led to marriage and children so there was less effort involved

I had to go through a LOT of trial & error to get to where I am now with David!

And yes I did have some help with dating coaches and therapists



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 29,054
Location: Right over your left shoulder

03 Nov 2024, 8:33 pm

Very few people would bother with a dating coach, even if they had the money they'd also need to be willing to consider that they might need coaching.


_________________
When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn't become king, the palace becomes a circus.
"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


MatchboxVagabond
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Mar 2023
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,728

03 Nov 2024, 8:55 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Very few people would bother with a dating coach, even if they had the money they'd also need to be willing to consider that they might need coaching.


I'm confused, what do you think a dating coach does? A lack of success in dating alone would be sufficient for some people to hire help.



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 29,054
Location: Right over your left shoulder

03 Nov 2024, 9:00 pm

MatchboxVagabond wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Very few people would bother with a dating coach, even if they had the money they'd also need to be willing to consider that they might need coaching.


I'm confused, what do you think a dating coach does? A lack of success in dating alone would be sufficient for some people to hire help.


I assume they provide advice and instruction.

That said, when it comes to most tasks that most average people figure out just fine, few people are likely to reach the conclusion that they're unable to figure it out for themselves and require professional help like a coach. Most people's egos won't allow them to reach such conclusions easily.


_________________
When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn't become king, the palace becomes a circus.
"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


MatchboxVagabond
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Mar 2023
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,728

03 Nov 2024, 9:44 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
MatchboxVagabond wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Very few people would bother with a dating coach, even if they had the money they'd also need to be willing to consider that they might need coaching.


I'm confused, what do you think a dating coach does? A lack of success in dating alone would be sufficient for some people to hire help.


I assume they provide advice and instruction.

That said, when it comes to most tasks that most average people figure out just fine, few people are likely to reach the conclusion that they're unable to figure it out for themselves and require professional help like a coach. Most people's egos won't allow them to reach such conclusions easily.


Perhaps, but they can tell things aren't working because they won't be in the kind of relationship they're looking for. It isn't just people who think there's something wrong with them. Around here the women are super-picky because of all the men that have moved to the area looking for IT jobs.



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 29,054
Location: Right over your left shoulder

03 Nov 2024, 9:59 pm

MatchboxVagabond wrote:
Around here the women are super-picky because of all the men that have moved to the area looking for IT jobs.


Interesting, I live in redneckistan and it doesn't seem like the women are all that picky. Jeez, even I've had success. :lol:


_________________
When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn't become king, the palace becomes a circus.
"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


Babygirltoday
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 3 Nov 2024
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 35

03 Nov 2024, 10:03 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Most people who are married did not enlist the help of dating coaches. They simply met someone they hit it off with, fell in love, and got married. People intrinsically have “high value.” That’s not to say that many don’t have things they want to work on which could increase their chances of finding someone and sustaining a relationship, but people are valuable as they are. IMO, it’s more about finding someone who likes (and eventually loves) you flaws and all and vice versa.

That’s a refreshing perspective on this “value” talk that’s so popular these days online.



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 29,054
Location: Right over your left shoulder

03 Nov 2024, 10:12 pm

Babygirltoday wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
Most people who are married did not enlist the help of dating coaches. They simply met someone they hit it off with, fell in love, and got married. People intrinsically have “high value.” That’s not to say that many don’t have things they want to work on which could increase their chances of finding someone and sustaining a relationship, but people are valuable as they are. IMO, it’s more about finding someone who likes (and eventually loves) you flaws and all and vice versa.

That’s a refreshing perspective on this “value” talk that’s so popular these days online.


It kinda seems like a version of incel and femcel discourse, with how those groups tend to jargonize everything.


_________________
When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn't become king, the palace becomes a circus.
"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


Carbonhalo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,973
Location: Musoria

03 Nov 2024, 10:50 pm

Dating coach?
That would take all the fun out of trial and error.
I'm with TP. Everyone has high value...the question is compatibility.
I had to trawl through a lot of women to get my 4 long term relationships, but the journey was fun and I learned an awful lot in the process.
I hope not many of them regret whatever time we had.
I must admit I'm curious what you consider "high value", because I can almost guarantee my selection criteria would see them as low relevance.



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 74,227
Location: UK

05 Nov 2024, 2:18 pm

To be fair though some people are good at getting into relationships with people they want to be in relationships with and other people just aren't

I fall into the latter

It's not a problem I need a dating coach for though it's just that a lot of men need a lot of love and affection and I'm just not on that wavelength and that's fine


_________________
We have existence