Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps

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Amazing video, no blaming, no bitterness, just logic and numbers.




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3lypVn ... meableData

I mean, dating apps have more male users. Most of said users are looking for women. Therefore female users whom are looking for men will be shown to a large group of men. Which will likely result in a higher number of likes. Especially since dating apps work on algorithms and are more likely to show a profile that performs well (receives a lot of likes in a short amount of time) and show profiles that receive less a lot less. Causing some profiles to absolutely snowball with likes.

Since the female audience is smaller, they'll see a lot of men but the likes will be more evenly distributed due to the small size of the group.

I didn't watch the video because my Internet is about as quick as boiling a potato on an underperforming stove. However, I'll take a wild guess that's what it was about.

As a woman searching for a woman, I receive a lot of likes but very few matches. Most of those likes are unfortunately from men (or women looking for a third with their boyfriend). A lot of men I see set their gender as female but then have "I am a man. Don't call me a woman. I don't understand why I'm not doing well on here" in the bio. Usually every third profile I see is male. Despite my settings. Although this time around since redownloading a dating app it's more like every fifth or sixth profile, which is definitely an improvement.

I watched the video and took notes, only to discover that the narrator was simply repeating what has been said here on WrongPlanet over and over again:

1. There are more male than female dating app users.

2. Men give more likes than women.

3. A small share of the users get a big share of the likes.

And FYI: At no time was there any painting of women as demons.

!	Cornflake wrote:
	An attack on the OP was removed - apparently made without first viewing the video, which is as stated: "no blaming, no bitterness, just logic and numbers." Please discuss the video, without attacking the OP in the process.

Hope it wasn't me. Was going to reply with my general thoughts and wrote and wrote and wrote but then tablet made it dissapear, so I went to look if I had accidently posted it (As I rarely do post my thoughts as usually they are just written thoughts and I then delete them) but it did not seem to be there so I am not sure where my thoughts went to!

This is indeed the case. It's just a fact that more users of these apps are men.

That was an interesting video. I wonder though if the same numbers apply to dating sites as to dating apps. I've never used a dating app but I've been on a few different dating sites. The first one didn't work out so well. With the next few though, holy mama. I got tons of likes and a number of matches. I'm sure my profile pic helped but I wonder how my profile text compared to the average male user. I'd love to see that person do a similar video about dating sites.

It'll indeed apply to sites too.

There’s no difference between sites and apps; just different access mediums. The Okcupid app and the Okcupid site for instance have access to the same data, same algorithm, same users… etc.

The old Okcupid worked so much better I recall before it becomes another Tinder clone; basically because you had a chance for your intro message to stand out.
Now, your pic has to stand out first.

OK Cupid was the best before it got sold, I haven't used any of these sites in years due to being married, but the point where I stopped even trying there was when you needed both parties to agree to the messaging before you were allowed to send a message. I went from getting some sort of response about half the time to getting hardly any responses at all.

The regular reports about what people in general were doing on the site was both helpful and interesting.

In general the biggest issue with the sites is that they don't solve the problem of women saying they want things they don't actually respond to. And they don't really do much to discourage men from spamming a bunch of lazy attempts at connecting in the form of cut and paste messages.

That is how it was but in the last couple of years things have changed as more and more men have decided to avoid dating. There has been calls by some womens groups to force men to date due to the lack of men who want to date. Scotland is an example where there was a distinct sudden drop of white men on dating sites due to the new rules (Which were reversed but the lasting effects are still seen as the Scotish men do not trust the government so are avoiding dating as a precautionary measure).

I have not looked at the vid yet be just about to look as I write, but I know a similar situation now is found in many areas of the USA which have seen noticable recent decline in numbers of men deciding to date.


Just seen the vid. It is interesting, but does not reflect the more recent figures. There has been quite a shift or a backlash with younger men deciding not to date. There has been much about tuis via Ted talks and womens groups which called on the UK government to address this.

At a personal level, I am told I don't get hints so my chances are such that I have remained single. I am also over cautious and can find that if a lady is attracted to me, I question why?

But seriously, things are changing.

I am not on a dating site though there is an American dating site that I occasionally look at as it has British people on it, and I have noticed that year after year, the exact same women are on there (Wales in general has very few people on dating sites compared to England, so the ratio is something like 1 in 100 so potential local dates are rare to find, which is why it is very noticable that of the four or five years I took a peak (I am not a member of any dating sites) i is very noticable the same faces are on there. It is definately a case that the members are active as they change their profiles etc, but they are still there. (Is obvious why a few are still there as they are wanting the impossible, but for others it is puzzling).

It makes me think why some of these women are not finding themselves partners as they are pretty enough and seem to have a lot to offer in dating potential. Maybe I should look at the men just to see what choice they have? Surely there are men to at least tske them for one date?
Is genuinely puzzling!

Last edited by Mountain Goat on 27 Jul 2024, 12:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I thought that as well. Lots of sites also have apps these days. The dating site vs dating app debate is like debating typing Amazon.com or Ebay.com in your browser vs installing the Amazon or Ebay apps on your phone.

I haven't used OKC in like 13 years. Do they still have fun quizes? Some users found them helpfull for initiating interactions.

How would the rules make dating sites/apps more difficult or frustrating for guys but not women When I used dating sites the main way the sites treated the genders differently is that some sites charged guys but let women join for free to up their ratio of women. It's kinda like how some bars give women a couple free drinks because increasing women turnout means more paying guys go there. I also heard that the test to be allowed to join Eharmony was stricter for guys than women.

I am talking government rules. Not dating app rules.

The Tinder formula does solve this issue tho, because the women have full control of the number of men who may message them. That's its major upside.

Basically, you got it right, that's the basic gist of the video. It did mention that this applies only on the heterosexual scene.