How do you deal with differences betwn you and your partner?

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bee33
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13 Nov 2024, 8:49 am

I don't want to be dismissive and I want to be supportive and to make my partner feel like I am always in his corner, but we think very differently about some things. I usually try to downplay them, but that can feel like it creates distance by not being completely honest. For instance I'm an atheist and don't believe in anything supernatural, but he does and has had supernatural experiences. How do I talk about it without seeming to be dismissing him and his beliefs and experiences? What are your experiences with partners?



LittleBeach
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13 Nov 2024, 3:59 pm

I have a lot of different beliefs from my partner, including different political views. I think what works for us is to be curious about each others viewpoints. I try to ask questions and just listen to what they have to say for as long as possible without agreeing or disagreeing. It is always tempting to jump straight to “well I disagree because….” but for us that stops the conversation, as we don’t really like debating with each other (makes us tense and irritable)



Carbonhalo
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13 Nov 2024, 5:08 pm

Capitulation



RetroGamer87
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13 Nov 2024, 6:57 pm

bee33 wrote:
How do you deal with differences between you and your partner?


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Mikurotoro92
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13 Nov 2024, 7:02 pm

By compromising with each other



TwilightPrincess
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13 Nov 2024, 7:33 pm

Maximizing on the things you agree on could be useful here. Maybe you wouldn’t want to talk directly about your disbelief in the supernatural (or whatever his specific beliefs/experiences of it entail) but talking about skepticism about other topics like young Earth creationism, the Bible, harmful religious practices, or another related topic that wouldn’t make him feel invalidated would be okay and would give you an opportunity to express your views. Just a thought. I personally think it’s okay to have a topic or two that can’t be entirely shared.



bee33
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14 Nov 2024, 6:21 am

We agree on most things including politically, and he is not religious, he just agrees with the teachings of Jesus not the way they are conveyed by most religions. And he thinks God and Jesus really are supernatural beings, which I do not. But some of his beliefs are pretty off the wall and I am uneasy about them.