Ok bashful aspie men, should a girl ask you out?

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Should the girl you like alot, but are too shy to talk to, turn around and ask you out? Would you pee your pants if this happened? If you like her to the point where you hide, and can't even look at her, and she freaks you out when she walks up to you, should she wait for you, or are you ok with her approaching, then dominating the conversation, because you are speachless? IS it better for the girl to e-mail you? Or do you just like private obsessions, without people contact?

I would prefer if she approached me, but if that doesn't seem to be happening I think I can approach her. It will take a lot of planning and tact, though. You can't just walk up to any girl you'd like and say "hi." It doesn't work that way.

If you are interested in a shy Aspie man, then yes, absolutely, take the initiative in all ways. Don't wait for him, because he doesn't have a clue what he should do.

Thats good advice. I am afraid if I do that, though I could inspire a panic attack.

Well, yes, be prepared for the panic attack. When he gets over it, he will be overwhelmed with joy.

I agree. If you never ask him out, you'll never go out with him, because it's damn sure he'll never ask you out.

It happened, a LONG time ago. We were in a nightclub and suddenly a pretty girl walked up to me. The first thing she said to me was "I've been watching you for ages, what do you want to do first, dance or kiss"?

Chances like this do not come along often. Take them.

Ed Almos

Sue she should. At least that way the conversation won't be peppered with stutters, blushes and so on...

I would just grin and walk away.

Well, okay, he may grin and walk away (in the USA we have our jokes about the "Norwegian Bachelor Farmers").

But, as you can see, most of the votes are in favor of your taking the initiative. At the very least, he'll have something to grin about for the rest of his life.

Check back in later and let us know how things progress.

Like someone said, if you don't do it, he certainly won't. Just go and do it, whatever happens, the sucky "wondering" phase will be wrapped up quite directly.

From my point of view, it's more economical for a girl to ask a guy out. Girls are always being hit on, so this dilutes the value of a given guy asking one out. Since women seem to be the ones who make the final call (they're choosier), it's more efficient for them to just ask out the men they are interested in instead of sitting around waiting for them to, and fending off the pack of men who have no chance anyway.

Of course, I'm biased. The couple of girls I actually have asked out weren't interested, and the couple that took the initiative to ask me were relative successes.

If he is having a panic attack, just wait a bit sometimes it makes it worse if you are talking to him and acting busy. Try and clear other people away from where he is. Just say some reassuring thing and smile. If he continues to hyperventilate try get him to breathe into a bag or encourage him to take deep slow breaths.

Uhm, if she has a good looking brother, HE can ask me out

If I liked the girl I would probably feel a little panicky but really happy. I haven't had a panic attack in a long time so hopefully that won't happen.

I would worry a little bit about what next and my suitability to be in a 'normal' relationship. But I suppose all that doesn't matter it he greater scheme of things, you can figure that out as you go along.

If you want to do it by email go for it. Seriously if it is the decider of whether you are going to do or not, don't worry what anyone else does more important that you do what makes you happy.

If the girl I like asked me out It'd surprise me... and when something takes me by surprise it usually ends with me sorta feeling shocked and needing to adapt a new style.

lol but in this instance - I'd probably be swept by a wave of some strange emotion lol. I would probably say yes though. But atm, I'd say something like "Not yet... I think it's a good idea to wait a little."
Chances are I'll be the one doing the asking out though... but not yet lol.