Teenagers aren't really a good place to make observations that apply to the adult world. Children and teenagers are often pretty antisocial compared to adults and they tolerate a higher degree of antisocial behaviour. Behaviour that might lead to approving gossip as a child or teen will often lead to disapproving, protective gossip as an adult.
That doesn't mean there aren't emotionally immature adults, or adults for whom such behaviour remains normalized to, only that they're less common. Those circles tend to be more approving of more ignorant behaviour, but they require a higher tolerance of being subjected to ignorant behaviour and a higher willingness to use violence and threat of violence as a means of resolving disputes (in particular after being subjected to 'disrespect'/ignorant behaviour).
With that in mind, there's a difference between being kind and being a pushover. Being a pushover is widely seen as unattractive in general and particularly in men due to gender norms.
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The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
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