I decided to break up and never date again

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It's been a while since I last posted here. It's been many years, actually. I felt like I wasn't adding anything relevant to help other people around here. Besides, my life took an unexpected turn - a very bad one indeed. Before I tell you why I did what I did, I must add some background.

To sum up, I lost everything. I had a collapse in 2021 and my health has been deteriorating. I lost my job, sold or donated all my things, sold my place and am living back with members of my family.

I am currently under psychiatric treatment. I've been looking for jobs but I find myself very insecure about going into the workforce again.

Despite all that I still had a girlfriend but since I moved out of town, we haven't seen each other for a long time. We would exchange messages but I felt like it wasn't right. She said this was just a bad phase in my life and we would see each other again. I doubted that very much.

Part of me didn't want to lose her, but I felt like I should do the right thing and leave her so she could find someone else. I broke up. It's been some weeks since I did that and she never talked to me again. I didn't want to lose her friendship but I had no choice. Beyond that, she has some problems in her own life that made the relationship a bit too complicated. We rarely saw each other even before all my problems started to happen. The relationship was not entirely satisfactory, but anyway I find myself thinking whether she would have been the best I would find in my life despite all the problems.

So I decided to break up and realised it would be just logical that I should never date anyone else. I say logical because if the situation wasn't good for one woman, it probably won't be good for another woman.

There it is. I'll be reading your replies. Thanks for your time.

I don't know if you have to decide now that you will never date again. Just because one person and one relationship were not right, it doesn't necessarily mean that another person and another relationship won't be just what you need, and just what the other person needs as well.

I'm so sorry to hear you're dealing with all of this, MagicKnight. It sounds awful and heartbreaking. I hope things improve for you!

I've actually been in your girlfriend's...ex girlfriend's position. Or similar to it. My boyfriend broke up with me because he thought it was in my best interest. He was struggling with mental health problems and I was dealing with my own issues: I had health problems and had just gotten laid off. He thought he was doing the right thing. I didn't appreciate it either. I was so mad I didn't talk to him for months, but I did eventually forgive him and we became friends again and now that he's doing better we're tentatively dating again.

I agree with Bee: it's hard to know what the future holds. I hope things go better for you and you find something or someone that makes you feel fulfilled and happy!

I am sorry to hear about your circumstances, OP.

Having a breakdown in 2021 and still not being recovered must be tough! And losing everything... I mean, some people find it very difficult to reclaim their sanity after losing everything, including material goods that they have worked hard for.

I think as your previous girlfriend said, you are going through a difficult phase in your life. Hopefully things will get better at some point for you and that you will be in a position to be happy in life, again.

Thanks everyone for your kind replies.

It is perfect fine to give up on dating forever, with the realization that you might change your mind later.

It is good that you at least had a relationship. It is easier to give up on them once you have had them, because you can see the negative sides to them, and how being single has it advantages. If you have never had one, you tend to idealize them and it is hard to walk away from something you have always wanted but never had yet.