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Still not much luck after 17 years

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Jamesy
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26 Nov 2024, 4:22 pm

When I was 18 in college one of my friends tried to hook me up with this girl even saying “Me and her would make a cute couple”. I rejected/ignored her because she was not my type.

Since then i have never really had an opportunity like that come up ever since. Do you think this is a tough lesson learnt for me that in life you only get limited chances to find that special person to spend the rest of your life with? Back then I was in a much better social situation than I am now since I was in college and but at the moment despite volunteering I am still unemployed



Last edited by Jamesy on 26 Nov 2024, 4:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

funeralxempire
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26 Nov 2024, 4:24 pm

It's true.
Whether or not it's a harsh lesson or just an example seems entirely an internal matter.


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Jamesy
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26 Nov 2024, 4:26 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
It's true.
Whether or not it's a harsh lesson or just an example seems entirely an internal matter.



I have had opportunities with drunk girls but that certainly does not count



funeralxempire
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26 Nov 2024, 4:32 pm

Jamesy wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
It's true.
Whether or not it's a harsh lesson or just an example seems entirely an internal matter.



I have had opportunities with drunk girls but that certainly does not count


Those sound like potential hookup opportunities, not like something that would be likely to evolve into a relationship.

Ignoring the (valid) concerns about intoxication and consent, if someone's out for a pub crawl and a hookup or makeout session they're probably not likely to be pursuing the beginnings of a relationship that evening.


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"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


Jamesy
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26 Nov 2024, 4:40 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
It's true.
Whether or not it's a harsh lesson or just an example seems entirely an internal matter.



I have had opportunities with drunk girls but that certainly does not count


Those sound like potential hookup opportunities, not like something that would be likely to evolve into a relationship.

Ignoring the (valid) concerns about intoxication and consent, if someone's out for a pub crawl and a hookup or makeout session they're probably not likely to be pursuing the beginnings of a relationship that evening.




It’s been nearly 20 years and have not yet found another soul mate. I’d be shocked if I got to 60 and was still single without yet finding another special someone



blitzkrieg
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26 Nov 2024, 4:43 pm

You sound like you need to up your social skills with women, Jamesy.

Do you pay compliments to the women you are interested in? Do you do anything else to show them that you are interested?

And no, crushing on the girlfriend of your friend, doesn't count/should be off limits.



Jamesy
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26 Nov 2024, 4:45 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
You sound like you need to up your social skills with women, Jamesy.

Do you pay compliments to the women you are interested in? Do you do anything else to show them that you are interested?

And no, crushing on the girlfriend of your friend, doesn't count/should be off limits.



Yeah sure I do but it’s not going to get me a relationship



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26 Nov 2024, 4:49 pm

Letting a person know you are interested in the first place is a step some autistic folk miss.



Jamesy
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26 Nov 2024, 4:50 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
Letting a person know you are interested in the first place is a step some autistic folk miss.



Is complimenting my mates girlfriend from time to time really that bad? I compliment the boyfriend to



funeralxempire
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26 Nov 2024, 4:58 pm

Jamesy wrote:
It’s been nearly 20 years and have not yet found another soul mate. I’d be shocked if I got to 60 and was still single without yet finding another special someone


Not hooking up with drunk girls (or boys) probably hasn't contributed to your failure to find a soulmate, at least not significantly.


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"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


funeralxempire
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26 Nov 2024, 4:59 pm

Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Letting a person know you are interested in the first place is a step some autistic folk miss.



Is complimenting my mates girlfriend from time to time really that bad? I compliment the boyfriend to


It depends on the nature of the compliments.


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"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


Jamesy
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26 Nov 2024, 5:00 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Letting a person know you are interested in the first place is a step some autistic folk miss.



Is complimenting my mates girlfriend from time to time really that bad? I compliment the boyfriend to


It depends on the nature of the compliments.



I compliment her clothing



Jamesy
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26 Nov 2024, 5:01 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
It’s been nearly 20 years and have not yet found another soul mate. I’d be shocked if I got to 60 and was still single without yet finding another special someone


Not hooking up with drunk girls (or boys) probably hasn't contributed to your failure to find a soulmate, at least not significantly.



What do you think has then?



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26 Nov 2024, 5:12 pm

Jamesy wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
It’s been nearly 20 years and have not yet found another soul mate. I’d be shocked if I got to 60 and was still single without yet finding another special someone


Not hooking up with drunk girls (or boys) probably hasn't contributed to your failure to find a soulmate, at least not significantly.



What do you think has then?


It's probably a bunch of factors, rather than any individual factor.


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"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


funeralxempire
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26 Nov 2024, 5:13 pm

Jamesy wrote:
I compliment her clothing


That doesn't really say much about the nature of the compliments though.

If you compliment her low-cut blouse while gawking at her tits, that's bad.
If you compliment her Slayer shirt because you're also a Slayer fan, that's fine.


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"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


Jamesy
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26 Nov 2024, 5:15 pm

Guess I am s**t out of luck :?