What are your behaviors when you like someone?

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Do you run? Do you hide? Do you approach them? Do you ask them out?

I normally ask the person out, except one time. I hid. It was a good thing that I did this, because i read the situation incorrectly.

I'm ok with strangers, because:
a). they're interesting and I might learn something new (so they're like a project).
b). the stranger and I matter little to each other so there is hardly any risk of offence or misunderstanding.

Things get more difficult the more I get to know someone, because I become more and more self-conscious and afraid that I will annoy or upset them. This generally leads me to tie myself up in knots and get stressed. In the worst cases I end up being erratic and arguementative because I am stressed and exhausted through over-analysing... so I end up doing exactly what I was trying to avoid!

I think the term "psychotic" best fits the discription.

My past is littered by corpses.Generally,I cant approach(unless drunk,which I dont do anymore).I will respond and then reveal to much information...then freak out and try and avoid the person...ala,"hit and run"style.(and to imagine,some eople find me difficut to understand).The few simi-succesful "relationships" I have had with the same gender,wa when in a "forced community situation",like psychward or CD/AA type place.People in these places have often befriended me but I never seem to maintain them for long after the "forced community" ends.

My experience with opposite gender has mostly been,developing an obsession,becoming a "simi-stalker",getting drunk and approaching them...charming them with my wit(also know as sex)ending in either a relationship or a one-night stand.(I'm glad I out grew that).

Now I just stick with on-line "friendships" that g no further then an ocassional PM or response to a thread.

I am similar to Krex... I tend to become obsessed with the person, but find myself unable to approach...it is as if some part of my mind puts them on an invisible pedestal... they become Godlike in the way I come to fear their rejections.
Sometimes, I don't become obsessed and then it is slightly easier but I have never drank or anything in order to help myself as usually they are other aspies.
I often send letters, leave poems, write poems, and yes, become a sort of quasi stalker without meaning to due to my hopes that if I am around and more visible, they might somehow fall in love with me and approach me themselves.

I would never dare approach someone I liked and ask for a date etc.

I usually do nothing... until they show some interest in em.

Then I can try to start up some sort of conversation. And hope that I get to interact with them regularly.

I'll take things pretty slow... it's much more comfortable for me to just talk to them from time to time... than to go overboard. And they can only get a good sense about me after a bit of time... and until I get really comfortable anyways.

After enough time... I'll ask them out or something. I usually don't have enough time for this to happen... the situation where we were meeting goes away... or a couple of awkward conversations strains the relationship...

I gibber, blush and babble, thus making it very obvious I like them and usually freaking them out in the process.

And then I feel horrible about it later. So everybody wins!

Run & hide.

I'm all messed up! XD

I get really emotional roller coasters. I'm really down to earth at first, then I'm feeling a bit angry, then passive, then I'm happy, then I get distanced, then I get..yeah it's all there. I drive myself nuts and I eventually shove it down my throat. Then I picture the person being a jerk and my feelings go away and I become normal again.

Feels like you turn into a helpless child agian. I hate it.

Sometimes for me passive love is easier than strong-connecting love.

Cloak it, I cannot fall flat for someone. They have to be my friend first.

And I do a great job hiding the feelings if they develop.

~ Flagg the Grumpy and Cunning MD

Last edited by Flagg on 30 Aug 2007, 9:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well, I have evolved quite a bit since the beginning, but Im still horrible at the whole thing. I remember the first day of middle school when I was riding the bus and this girl walked on... I really believe in love at first site... I mean, this was magical. All I saw were her eyes at first and my heart was in my throat. I didnt really know what to do. The moment she walked on we locked eyes and she actually sat next to me I remember how nervous I was . But obviously it didnt get too far. Anyway, since then Ive learned to make the initiative and conquered my fears of talking to girls, however getting any further than that is a struggle I will never win.

Yeah, I'm the same way. It always backfires on me though. The guys I like probably can't tell I like them, while the ones I have no interest in think I'm interested. I know it's because I act normal around the later since I have no anxiety around them, whereas I'm a wreck (internally, of course) around the former and doing everything I can to prevent rejection and ridicule. And when I do manage to scrounge up the courage to interact in a meaningful way with someone I like, I freak afterwards and retreat into my shell. This probably causes confusion and results in the guy thinking I'm an unstable basket-case.

I become completely inept. I can't talk to them, or if I can it is awkward, I blush, I get physically hot and perspire. I hate it.

I can act normal enough if it is an internet thing but in person I am a mess.

I "blow hot & cold" with them.

If I ever do get to talk to them I act "too familiar", i.e. kind of teasing them & joking around twith them (N.B. They may not realise when I am joking - a lot of people don't - & think I am being overbearing, bossy or strange.)

After I have done this I panic & think "What if he knows I like him" and completely back off, i.e. I am terrified to go anywhere near him and avoid him.

Hence my lack of success with men. Like someone said above, I have no trouble at all talking to guys I am not interested in, and then they start to think I fancy them and I have the problem of getting rid of them.

A clue - if I can talk to a guy easily & confidently, I do NOT fancy him!

The only exception to this (& the one "relationship" I have had) was with a married work colleague who, although I did fancy him, I was able to get close to because I was naive enough to think that there was no possibility of anything happening because he was married. Big mistake (that lasted 10 years!)

I shall simply make an account for the last time I felt like this, as I don't have enough experience to tell method apart from whim.

I tried to look at her at opportunity. If she made eyecontact, I looked away and felt slightly feverish. I also made exceptions for her in that I actually answered if she asked something. I usually grunt instead. I also - one time - spoke to her without her first addressing me, which I otherwise avoid to great extent.

I don't think my future looks too bright on the partner-aspect...

I vomit on their shoes.