This will be a brief overview of a current situation. If more information is required inorder to receive advice, please ask, as if I knew what to say, I could probably figure this out on my own.
I have been "best friends" with someone online for 13 years. He was the first person I ever met online at the age of 12...and also became by "net beau" for a short stint, until I did something cruel and hurt him (out of fear).
He stays in my thoughts constantly, though, we communicate on and off, usually due to him being involved with some possessive, crazy, psycho chick that gets jealous and calls me with death threats, just because my number is in his cellphone OR she goes online, sneaks into his email account, and reads something from me.
The relationship between him and I has always been very deep. He felt that I cursed him with females (literally), and I actually feel cursed in the same way. We flirt and tease like a typical girl-boy interaction, but we also listen to one another's problems and give advice and are there for each other in times of crisis, ready to lend any help and support available.
I have always felt deeply for him, and I was his "first love" that still tugs at his heart. The problem is, I wonder if my happiness and joy and thoughts and worries all come from just an obsessive interest, like I have with everything I want to learn more about. It is hard for me, when being logical, to grasp if my feelings could actually be love, when he excites me and makes my eyes light up just as art and knowledge does.
So, this was longer than I anticipated. I need to understand what I feel, because I do not know if he is an Aspie like me, which he very well may be, as I only just found a description of the symptoms entailed. I care for him and would do anything for him, and I worry that just maybe I have hidden my true nature to him, subconsciously, throughout the years. I am unable to evaluate it, as I am not entirely sure of my true nature, because I have learned to hide and became a certain way to make things easier.
Advice, please. Could it be love or is this just another long, drawn-out obsession...and if so, can a meaningful relationship actually be built around the joys of an obsession?
Last edited by neopsytox on 29 Aug 2007, 1:13 am, edited 3 times in total.
28 Aug 2007, 1:57 pm
