Love-bombing, what it is and how to recognize it.

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Love-bombing is when someone you barely know begins telling you that they love you, lavishing praise and compliments. It is typically from someone with an attractive profile picture. They want to form a relationship with you, because then your guard will be down, and that is when they start telling you hard-luck stories, always something that involves your sending money or doing some favor for them.

I was reminded of this recently on OKCupid, when I got a message from the Admins. I recall having a brief exchange with a user named Anna. It never went far because her response was "I don't know what you are talking about," and I reread my message, and decided if she could not understand that, she probably wouldn't understand much else I had to say, either. I don't think she was a high-level love-bomber at any rate, maybe just starting out in the profession.

"Hey, Gentleman Argentum,

At OkCupid, we respect and appreciate every member, and work behind the scenes to cultivate a safe and positive experience.

Recently, we discontinued Anna's account due to what appears to be fraudulent* behavior. We are letting you know because you exchanged messages with this member.

As a safety reminder, we strongly advise against sharing personal financial information or sending money to other members via any means. If you receive one of these requests from another member, please report them on the app, site, or directly to us.

For more information, check out our safety tips.

Thanks,
The OkCupid Team

*Fraudulent behavior includes but is not limited to using a false identity or posing a significant risk of attempting to obtain money from other members through deceitful means. "

My current girlfriend kinda borderline love-bomed me on this forum depending how love-bombing is defined since different people can use slightly different definitions. Cass read some of my posts & liked what she read & then she read a lot of my posts before PMing me. I checked her posting history after I PMed her back because I never noticed any of her posts before & she had made a few posts. She did have a hard-luck story but she was not asking money or anything. I liked that she was upfront about it & I have a hard-luck story as well which is one of the reasons we relate to each other. Neither of us had attractive profile pix though.

I definitely would have reported her to a mod if she quickly asked for something like money or if her initial message seemed like a generic pasted one that coulda been sent to lots of members like if it did not mention anything related to my posting. I had received a few of the latter PMs from newbs on this forum that I reported to mods but I haven't received any in over a decade. I also have received some of the latter messages on other forums & dating sites that I also reported or tried to report(I've tried LOTS of various dating sites). I def never experienced anything like love-bombing in person. This is one of the reasons I feel I cant majorly advise other single lonely Aspie guys how to get relationships because some of what worked for me could be red flags & might be borderline breaking some of the forum rules.