Does everyone have the desire to be loved?

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Does everyone have the desire to be loved whether it is from family or a partner?

I am wondering if my desire is too much.

Last edited by KevinLA on 07 Mar 2025, 11:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think love is necessary for a person to grow so I'm thinking yes

I'm only just learning about love btw so I'm pretty new to it all

I hope you can one day find the love you deserve

Probably not absolutely everybody, but most people I think. Although I behave like a robot a lot of the time, I have a strong need to feel validated by others, though I don't need that from loads of people. I'm content with a small circle of people who see me as valid, and the rest of them can sod off for all I care. And I need one special one - being polyamorous never worked out well.

OTOH, love means different things to different people.
I've never liked the "unconditional emotional support" thing that a lot of people are said to seek. If you piss somebody off too much, they can't be expected to keep throwing good love after bad.

Emotional intimacy, sharing on a deep level, that's my kind of thing, though it's rare. Shared goals, companionship, mutual respect, affection, care, reliability, and growth, I like those things too.

I think the vast majority of people want to love and be loved. I’m sure there are exceptions, though.

Good question; I hadn't given it any thought before, so the answer in my case seems to be no. That said, it did make me uncomfortable when I belatedly realised that many of whose love I'd always taken for granted throughout childhood, mostly family members (all now long dead) was pretence. As for those closer to my age, a lot of them showed a very different attitude once my mother lost her marbles, evidently holding me in complete comptent, but I've no idea why!

Then there's my only sibling, 7 years older than me, who played the caring sharing bro for our first half century, and then kept me in poverty for five years while he disposed of as much as he could of my inheritance. It then became clear in hindsight that he'd never missed a chance to do me surreptitious harm, like placing my college notes, and a chemistry set, outside over winter (they were so much papieremaché by the time I found them) and always providing much needed advice, just as soon as it was too late to do me any good.

I suspect it's his doing that the rest of my family turned against me, but that's only speculation. Here's the funny thing; he's the one everyone thinks is "normal"!

It's nice to have at least one person in the world who's got your back

Maybe that's enough love to keep you alive

Yes, love is a basic human need & desire!! !

BUT not everyone desires or wants marriage and a family!

There are different levels of love besides romantic, it's just that romance is easier to market & sell so that gets pushed the most

Well said. I'll add~ Some people majorly value their independence & freedom to do their own things without having others in their life. Also unfortunately some people had bad experiences & have given up on the idea that anyone could love or care about them so they mostly want others to stay away Plus there's some people who want others to fear & hate them, think the evil mad scientists movie stereotypes that want to destroy the world

Like a once respected British poet once said: I am human and I need to be loved just like everybody else does.

Everybody deserves to be loved but love isn't fair. Nor is it dished out fairly.

I want to get married at some point but I dont really feel a overwhelming need to be loved by a partner. I just want to get married so I can have sex with the approval of my religion. I know this may not seem like the best reason to get married but its the only way I can have sex in my life. I do feel the desire to be loved by my family.

Any religion that prohibits their people from loving somebody else with conditions seems like its a little intrusive.

Ya well I would have likely had sex a long time ago if I was not religious. Also my parents would not let me have it anyways.So its really a moot point at this time. Plenty of religions restrict the sex lives of their members so thats in no way unique to the church of Christ.

"
Everyone needs somebody,
You're not the only one,
You're not the only one...
"

I have the desire to be loved by my family and my friends.

If someone would tell me they love me, I would wonder what they are trying to get out of me. At one point in time, I wanted nothing more than to be loved. But after enough experiences, I learned that is impossible. I am not lovable at all. Believing otherwise is a trap like believing you can be friends with NTs or that you as an autistic are safe at work. I killed that hope along with the others. As far as I can tell, life is a competition in which everyone is trying to win by taking others down. If you don't play, you get taken down just like that little religious community in Game of Thrones that didn't believe in weapons and were massacred. Keep your distance, don't get attached to anything, and if something matters to you, keep that s**t a secret from everyone.

I don't get it. I feel like the whole love thing is a societal level lie that everyone plays along with to either believe in a collective lie to distract from reality, or they think everyone else is in love and they're just not trying hard enough. I look at people that say they love each other. They don't act like it though. They hurt each other, they control each other, they lie, they manipulate, they cheat...I really can't think of any couples that treat each other like I would expect people to treat each other when they love each other. I'm seriously trying to think of just one couple rn, and I can't...okay, I thought of one: my adoptive parents. They had their issues, but I could tell they loved each other. No one could say one bad thing about the other, they never ever EVER insulted each other (I can't even imagine that happening), they never threatened to leave each other, they never cheated or even made a comment that could be misunderstood as flirting to someone else, they slept in the same bed every single night, and they hugged and kissed each other all the time. Oh! And my college girlfriend's parents. They loved each other too, though even I could tell her mother was a basket case. Outside of that, I cannot think of any couples that honestly loved each other.

Some couples put up a good show in public, but after spending sometime with them, it was obvious they hated each other, were constantly in competition for power, were more in a business contract than a marriage, or were just miserable people. Love isn't the norm. It's the rare exception. There are more people cheating on or abusing each other than there are people that honestly love each other, by magnitudes.