Female or male making the first move?

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I'm facing my worst fear: making the first move.

I'm an aspie woman, facing my fear, and making the first move with an Aspie man I've been in love with for years. (we were eachother's first loves 6 years ago, we broke up after a year because I wasn't ready for a relationship.) Recently he initiated contact first, we've been talkin geveryday, but I noticed he stopped initiating a convo first. I noticed I wasn't initiating contact first for a while so I decided to try it by saying... Hi. (and no, we're not dating.)

Is it creepy for the female to make the first move/initiate contact first?

No. Especially in this case. It's common practice for women to initiate if they were with the man previously.

As an added note, it is commonly understood that men prefer initiating.

I'd say, only about half of men actually prefer initiating. If he isn't the initiating type, you need to get resourceful.

Sadly, only about a quarter of girls seem to like initiating.

There's a statistical difference here.

It shouldn't be too hard. Just do it.
Go make love to each other. Now. I insist.

Me & my girlfriend are both on the spectrum & she was the one who 1st initiated contact with me after reading lots of my post here & I'm very glad she did. Your guy may be hesitant to initiate because you weren't ready for a relationship back then.

It's not crazy or creepy in any way. If you want to do so just do it.

You initiating contact will make him feel very content and (from my prospective) it will make feel better. He will feel better because it will give him an indication that you care about him.

He may have stop conversing with you because he was testing whether you care about him or not. What I mean by that is that he wanted to see if you were as enthusiast as he is for you just by you communicating first

Absolutely not creepy. Actually "first move" doesn't quite apply here since there's history, but given that most of us aren't that good at reading (or sending) "signals" we can't let fear keep us from being honest about what we're feeling. Let him know what you're thinking. If there's something there, he'll be relieved. Even if there's not, better to know than to sit around worried about it.

I don't think it's a bad thing for women to make the first move. Sometimes guys are hesitant about doing it (for whatever reasons), so I say go for it. You'll never know, if you don't ask.


I think that more and more women are starting to do this, but I would say that the majority still prefers that the guy make the first move. I think this has to do with traditions, can also be a type of preliminary "test' to gauge how much confidence the man has, and/or because the woman is afraid of rejection, embarassing herself, or making herself look desperate.

**Taking a deep breath***

FEMALES OF THE HUMAN RACE, STOP WITH THIS STUPID IDEA OF NO-INITIATING, YOU ALSO HAVE TO INITIATE CONTACT AT LEAST HALF OF THE TIMES!!


Phew, that felt good. I hope that my message went across.... the galaxy.

I am very shy and i am using online conversations to solve this problem. It's much more easier to talk with unknown person by using facebook and similar platforms. I think both of you could make first steps. It's necessary. Why don't you initiate conversation when you want it ? Looks strange. I tried dating sites, like DanielLee5 said, but another one https://www.bridge-of-love.com just for improvement my communicative skills. It was good experience but i didn't find bride there

I got this post from a dating coach posted on his Facebook status, it really made me cringe and made me feel angry, frustrated, over the amount of work us guys have to do in order to get a girlfriend, and it involves more than just approaching and talking to her for the first time, asking her out, etc.:

“Normally, you are the one who has to begin the initial conversation; you are the one who starts touching her, who takes her number, who calls her up, who tells her where to meet you for a date, who initiates a hug the next time you see her, who takes her to a café, who touches her hand across the table, who goes in for the first kiss, who leads her home, who undresses her, and so on through the many small steps all the way into bed.
You are responsible for making things happen since you are the male, so advancing is all on your shoulders. Whenever you feel you are not getting anywhere with a woman, or that things are moving slowly, it is because you are not advancing. If you ever catch yourself thinking something such as, “I am not getting anywhere with this girl,” or “I do not know if she likes me,” then it is time for you to make a move. She will not do it, not even if she wants you, and if she does make a move then she is seducing you, not the other way around.
If you are thinking, “Well, but if she wants me, why doesn’t she make a move?” it means you do not understand women very well, what they want, or that you as a male are expected to act like a male — and that she is thinking the exact same thing.
All over the world, females grow more frustrated by the day because males they know are interested in them are afraid or do not know how to show it by making a move. Many males lose women because they fail to make a move when they have the chance. When you do have the chance but do not take it, the woman is thinking “Why isn’t he doing anything?” because her mindset does not include the option of doing something herself. She will start thinking that you do not like her, or she will park you in her let’s-just-be-friends spot and look for a real man.” W. Anton

Damn, that really makes me angry and pissed off.

It's assumed that the male is the one that always makes the first move, but that doesn't mean a female shouldn't. It's not weird at all.

All this is prefaced on the assumption that you are not 11 years old as currently recorded in your WP profile ...

If you've known each other for 6 years then it's not really a first move.

"Society" may expect the man to be more aggressive and push the relationship, but hopefully society wont be watching when it actually occurs and whatever happens is just between the two of you.

Sometimes a guy may really care about you and be scared that if he pushes you to the next step (whatever that is) then he might lose the relationship that you have already established.

I would be scared to make the first move.

When it comes down to it, 2/3s of men won't mind if the woman makes the first move, even if the man prefers to do so himself.
over 1/3 of men actually *prefer* the woman to make the first move...

Of coarse not! This is 2015. If a female wants to make the first move then she has every right.