The idea of a new life.

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So far Ive been using this place to vent my frustrations and I think it might have made some people stray from me who could have been potential friends or maybe even something more.
So the spiced rum I drank decided I should just try to have a more positive outlook on life while I post. But how do I find this way of life if its only been a dream? I have many dreams of such a life.. But it never comes to reality. I think I will certainly need some help though.. But from who?
It appears Im not "positively" stimulating enough for Ana because Im so down. I believe that even if I was in a better mood, I probably still wouldnt add up to her standards. Well, thats fine by me. (As madduk screams "YES!! !" and starts w*king off)
edit-Ana, I dont have anything against you but I have to be honest and say that you have hurt me.. Its only fair if I let you know that.
So I dont think Im really in the right mindset to be looking for a relationship just yet, only for someone to help me with this bloody battle against negativity. Just someone to be my friend I guess. If it should turn to something more then Ill be greatful.
Im also thinking I should fill my day with more activities somehow, and get back into the interests I once loved. Also it would give me more to talk about other than the normal crap I normally spew about around here.
Im also planning on dropping negative subjects all together.. But then again, all these changes might only last for the night as Im slightly drunk at the moment. Not too much, never have too much when you go online... Never..
Also, I should make a pact to never rely on substances again to make me feel better. What I need can be found here.. Maybe, with my fellow aspies.. Maybe there is still hope?? ..Maybe.

Last edited by username88 on 20 Sep 2007, 12:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

Sorry to hear that you're feeling down. But for some of us, that is a habitual place. I used to joke, when asked how I was doing, by saying, "Depressed, but that's my default setting." I have come to realize, that most of the time I am either depressed, or deeply introspective, or angst, or bordering on negativity. I guess for me, I learned to accept that this was a basic part of my psychological being. I just work with it. Being to told to cheer up or be positive, has no effect. OTOH, I am a fairly serious person. And that's okay. I just needed to learn how to play. How old are you? (If you don't mind my asking?)

Im 19. I dont want people to feel bad for me.
I just need some friends (maybe from on here.. anyone?). To start off with anyway..
Well if you catch my drift..
Gah, that must have sounded weird..!

All you can do is be honest about how you're feeling. Examine your motives for every post you write (just to make sure you aren't looking for sympathy - a fault I honestly admit to at times). If somebody has written you off as being too negative or depressing, then they should be looking at themselves, not judging you. If you can't say how you feel here, where do we go?
Don't compromise yourself by trying to be somebody you are not. It only leads to more pain in the end.

I don't mind if people post, looking for sympathy. It's probably that some of us don't get any sympathy at all except for what we can glean here on WP. Nothing wrong with asking for what you need, right?

I wonder similar things sometimes, username88. When I get down I start to think that I'm unworthy of being loved, because I don't want to "taint" anyone else with my negative thoughts and feelings. What ends up happening is that I do not confide my real thoughts and I avoid making the sorts of connections that would lead to a romantic relationship. Logically, I know that my imperfections and weaknesses are outweighed by my strengths and that I am capable of giving a lot of myself and having a healthy relationship...

... but my heart just isn't logical. I become fearful, paranoid... as Shakespeare says, "myself almost despising."

It's hard to realize that we don't measure up to someone's standards... but just remember that those standards are not linear. (Linear being, the person who rejects you wants an 88 or above and you only score 72.) It's not a matter of you being not good enough. It's just two shapes, encountering one another in a chance collision in outer space... and it's really no wonder when those random shapes happen not to be corresponding.

alcohol is unfortunate.
the world looks good without intoxication.

i can try to be your friend, but i'm not much of a people person.

I already know I started out bad with everyone here being the king of complaints, so I doubt I have very much of a chance of getting anyone to be interested in me.. My own fault I guess.

And gwenevyn Im really glad you understood me.

I wanna be friends

I've grown rather fond of you,
actually. Once I figured that the
88 was your birth year, and not
something more sinister.

I think your good, and I have been feeling like that, as you described as well, although I know you have friends and you will make friends here, doesn't seem difficult for you to actually get that here on WP.

EVEN for a spammy little bird.

Yeah, I know how it feels. Gwen

OMG! You ARE positive enough for me!


Please, PLEASE list everything that made you think otherwise!


I really want you to be able to explain what's making you so depressed. Seeing you in pain like this, and distanced from me besides, distresses me!

Oh, it's his birth year. I automatically thought it was the Heil Hitler thing, I just never mentioned it because that's what I thought it was.

I wonder if that's what it means in Lightning88's username? Doubt it.

And you have a good taste in music from what I've seen. That's a good start for a friendship (nothing gay mind you ).

I never even thought about it with her,
but u88 showed up, and one of his
first posts was criteria for a woman,
and listed - white. Just set me into
that thinking.

I suggested it about Lightning in pure jest. I would be more than shocked if that was true for her. Although I think she is Aryan...