Fun fun fun... Relationships have been giving me trouble...

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MisterHeron
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06 Oct 2007, 5:02 pm

I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome at a real young age. With treatment I am pretty normal nowadays, but relationships still give me trouble. I've asked out several women, gotten phone numbers even, but it turns out every bloody woman I've asked out turns out to not be single... It's not "I'm taken" type of responses I get either. They drag me on, giving the impression that they are single and interested. It gets bloody annoying.

All I want is a girl I can talk to, get to know, and form a relationship with. Somebody I can eventually hold close.

I've overcome practically every aspect of my disability, to the point I can handle things fine, and this crap happens... Why can't they just tell me they are 'taken'?

I've gotten to the point where a lot of the weaknesses that come with Aspergers Syndrome no longer define me, and I'm actually rather strong in some of those areas compared to most people. Social cues is something I've learned rather well, through logically picking apart the various meanings of things. Now it seems I'm better at giving off cues and noticing them than many normal people. I handle discussions with anybody perfectly. I've gotten that mastered to an art form just about. I've gotten my obsessive behavior under control, where I can direct that into school work, doing several hours at a time without any rest. I put this into my writing, and direct it randomly based on what I feel like I should be doing, or want to do.

I've become an intellectual. I handle language and papers excellently. The English Language is something I excel in, despite my hatred for fiction literature and analyzing poetry. I can figure out how people interpret information and write papers and arguments conforming to that. I've noticed many things other people do not. I've even had people get pissed off at me because I twist their words against them in debate, making them fall all over themselves. I can tear apart written arguments from just about any source, even major published sources. I think those that actually write these works do pitiful jobs.

I'm going into a political science major, and I handle everything I do pertaining to that with excellence. I can be a people person when I need to be, easily, after all this work I have put in.

I just feel like my gears are starting to slow down due to my sour luck with women... It is really beginning to frustrate me...



geek
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06 Oct 2007, 5:35 pm

Look at the bright side.

Would you rather have them neglect to mention boyfriends that they have, or tell you that they have boyfriends when they don't?

The lack of honesty is unfortunate, but very common. At least they're showing some interest.



calandale
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06 Oct 2007, 7:26 pm

Poly sci ain't a bad major to meet women.
Just get active in s**t. Practice your ability
to speak in front of others (you're going to
need this anyhow), it's not as difficult as
speaking TO people.



Maxx
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06 Oct 2007, 10:30 pm

As far as the girls playing this game with you...dang. I'm sorry to hear that. Just really bad luck. Don't let it slow you down, or hurt your view of women.



lonelyLady
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07 Oct 2007, 6:57 pm

on the other side of the coin, as a woman I noticed that when I have a boyfriend, the number of men who try to hit on me is much larger than when I am single (however, since I am a nice girl, I would never lead a guy on when I'm dating someone else). I think that for some reason, men are more likely to be interested in women who are taken. It could be that it's because women in a relationship pay more attention to their appearance/are happier which makes them more attractive to men, or because of the "challenge." I read about one study where men who were taken were rated more attractive by women (sorry, I don't remember the exact reference). My guess is that it goes both ways. As far as why they're leading you on, I think it is because they enjoy having an attention from an intellegent, nice guy such as yourself, and know that if they told you they have a boyfriend, you'll stop courting them and they don't want that to happen. Like someone else here said, you should take it as a compliment. Sooner or later you'll find a single woman that you like, just keep trying. Btw, there's nothing wrong with casually asking a girl whether she has a bf when you get to know her.



samtoo
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10 Oct 2007, 2:47 pm

MisterHeron your grit and determination is astounding. 8O
I mean - by the sounds of it...

I don't know though dude - I feel in a similar boat to you tbh. I've been working up to form my own bliss of trying to develop the good skills of the aspie and and the neurotype... I've been trying to grasp both of these... it's a great combination if I can manage... but I'm only 18 - only had just over 1 year of social practice, about that time trying this girl stuff, and time and time again I've been not coming up with the goods at all.

I don't know what the block is... when it comes down to it, we're still different... and aspies aren't very easy to come by... :/
lol having said that, I seem to wind up going for NT girls... apart from my ex, who is ADHD.


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Space
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11 Oct 2007, 1:57 am

Poly Sci is my major. I am half way through my degree and I don't enjoy it any more. The people in my classes are all socialist morons. Never met any girls in it, but that would make it the same as the other classes.



calandale
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11 Oct 2007, 2:11 am

But, the balance can't be too bad.
Hell, I remember being in an Engineering
school, where there were one or two
girls in each class - max. Same problem
in grad studies in CS, actually.

Lots of undergrad females, but I was
TEACHING them. Kinda made things
harder. :P