Do you want someone to be a friend and a significant other?

Post Reply New Topic

When I've tried to form friendships with people, I have tried to make friends with people I find attractive. I haven't really been out looking for a romantic relationship, I have always wanted to make friends with people I have crushes on. I am gay so I have tried making friends with straight guys who I know I will never have a chance with. I don't want to tell a straight guy that I am attracted to him. Is this common for people with Asperger's? Do they try to make friends with people who they have crushes on because they are afraid to actually tell the person how they feel about him or her?

I don't know about women, but guys make friends with women they have crushes on, all the time. I see it every day. If you are a gay guy trying to make friends with a straight guy you have a crush on, it will never work out, because, well...you are gay, and he is straight.


Being "friends" with someone first (straight or gay) can work, but only if you don't smother them too much. Keep it light and casual. Also, it would be better to let them know what your intentions are, sooner, rather than later, because if you don't let them know, they are gonna assume you are only interested as a friend, and it's never gonna go anywhere. Not only that, but if you wait months, or even years to tell them what your intentions are, if they aren't interested, you will have wasted all that time pursuing someone that isn't interested.

Ideally, I'd want to establish a friendship before getting in a relationship with someone. In fact, I'm incapable of falling in love unless I have a really deep connection with someone. And I personally believe that a relationship without love isn't built to last.

I'm lucky in that I have a bunch of really good friends, some that I even work with. That all just happened.
On that front, I'm beginning to think I'm one of the lucky ones.

As for girlfriend, I would love one. Never had one and with everything borked about me, I doubt I ever will.
I feel like a dog chasing a car, in regards to romance. I don't know what to do with it/her once I have it/her.

Mixing examples was a bad idea. that worked better in my head, but anyway.

The best advise I can give you is, don't go out looking for it. Making friends just happens with the people you work with or hangout with. same, according to myth, with girlfriends etc....

Absolutely!

I find that for me to "date" anyone I have to "befriend" them first or else there's no chance of it working. I'm not like the majority where I can just date someone just because their attractive.