Do women just say...

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Do women just say that they have a boyfriend just to get you off their back? Many times women only start saying that if I make any kind of suggestion or advance... before that they don't have anything to say to that effect, nor do I find any evidence that they do either...

I understand that a large number of them may actually be telling the truth, but there are statistically more women than men out there in the world (and some men like me have a hard time getting anywhere), so they can't all have b/f's.

If the above is true, then why do they say that? Why can't they just say "I'm not interested"? If they just did that, then I have no problem in leaving them alone... but alas, they don't... What is up with that?

I admit I've done that before. I'm not saying it's right, just admitting I've done it. Because when I've tried saying something like "I'm not intereseted", often the guy doesn't even pause but keeps trying, or asks why I'm not interested and keeps bugging me until I'm so irritated I say something mean. They take it as a challenge or something. Saying I have a boyfriend is taking the easy way out. Sorry.

I really do have a bf. When talking to guy, esp. one I don't know very well and so don't give a lot of personal details to, like a classmate, I don't always mention that I have a boyfriend until I feel that the guy is flirting with me. Then I immediately bring up my bf in the conversation so that he doesn't think I am flirting back. Hope that makes sense.

I think it's equivalent to saying everything's okay... when it's really not... but you don't want to go fully into it with someone you don't know.

It's a bit deceptive... but not terribly so. It's just their way...

Often, I'm thinking women will substitute phrases if the end result is the same...

I had the same question, and asked a (woman) counselor at my college, and was told it was what a lot of girls were told to say, for several reasons. First, it is a way to (supposedly) let you down easily, without your feelings getting hurt (as much). There are other similar strategies, such as saying they don't havbe time while they are going to school, etc. The second reason is that if the girl just says she's not interested, you are likely to ply her with questions about why not, and what you could do to change her mind. By her saying she has a boyfriend, it effectively closes the topic.

I know what you mean. It's awful.

Last year, there were three occasions where girls I was just trying to be friends with told me that they would never call me because they didn't want to make their boyfriends jealous. It's all well and good when you're talking to their face, but actually contacting you when you're not around? Actually being friends? I hate people like that. So friggin' two-faced. If someone doesn't like talking to me I wish they'd just come out and say it--ideally in a polite, sympathetic fashion. People think it's kind to lead you on but it just confuses and irritates me because then I get my hopes up and think I may have made a new real-life friend, which is a good thing because I so rarely make real-life friends...but no...it's almost always just pleasant deception...conversing with me when they don't have anything better to do but not actually caring. Sometimes they'll even promise to call or email or something but never do. >.< Why can't I just get some friggin' honesty from girls?

Try telling them you are rich, and see if thier boyfriends matter then. Most women are as superficial as men are arrogant.

If this email is in error, please disregard.

mojo123

I have to agree with two other posters on here, being a woman. I have had the experience of countless guys with whom I was having a casual conversation, suddenly bring up dating. Since I wasn't interested in them that way, I tried telling them just that. But they wouldn't let it go. It was like rebuttals in a sales pitch. It turned into a contest of wills. They seemed to think I was "playing hard to get." I have found that a lot of guys, IMO, do not value honesty. I honestly told them I wasn't interested, and they couldn't accept that.

I call it "the casual drop".

If my radar starts saying that a guy is starting to like me in that way, I try ASAP to work the boyfriend into the conversation.

"Yeah, my boyfriend really likes that movie, too."

Of course, I only use it if I actually have a boyfriend.

I don't do that as to me it is a lie...when I am single anyways.
I just say that I am single and happy that way and stick to it.

I do this only when I have a boyfriend. It's not because I want to make excuses for not going out with the guy, it's because I don't know whether the guy talking to me is just being friendly and making conversation or hitting on me until he asks for my number or suggests that we should go out sometime. I find that it makes me look less... arrogant, conceited...(can't think of quite the right word) to presume that people are just being friendly, rather than that they find me attractive.

Ladies, how often to you notice the guy's attitude changes after after you drop the news?