Okay, Enough Lieing, GUYS, is this whant you really want?

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So I have been contemplating what I really want and I have came to a conclusion:

In high school it would have been extremely easy for me to get a girlfriend; I had the looks and I did the sports so I could have basically have dated whoever I wanted but instead I decided to date no one.

In College, it is the same thing.

I realize now that I don't really want a girlfriend and I don't think I ever will want a girlfriend for a couple of years.

I guess all I really want is "Friends with Benefit" AKA Sex.

If I don't really care about half of my own emotions then why would I bother to care about other peoples emotions?

I wouldn't.

I think lots of guys my age(20-College Student) Neurotypical or Aspie feel the same way. In fact, like 90%. Relationships are a major pain the rear end!

Sex w/o some kind of interest and appreciation of the other person seems too close to masturbation for my tastes... Course, I may be the minority in this respect.

...was there supposed to be some sort of question there?

I'm not interested in meaningless sex.

Relationships take work.
Relationships are not having someone there to fulfill your needs, without anything in return. It is a mutual thing. If you don't want the "hassle," go for random, meaningless sex. If you want more than a one night stand, then it is going to take effort. That's life.

Nope, that's not me at all.

I want to be in a relationship, to understand someone fully and reveal to her my inner self. To share my life... sexual urges are a very small part of this desire.

I am sure relationships have their difficulties, but I'm patient and understanding enough to work through personal problems. In fact I think my calming, patient, understanding casual attitude would be a great benefit to my partner. What I truly have to offer over other guys...

I do believe I am quite different than most guys. My relationship desires are almost feminine.Most guys just want sex, and relationship concerns just come along for the ride.

I want an absolutely committed and
loving relationship with two women.

Sex alone isn't enough. Not by a long
shot. Then again, this whole "friends with
benefits" idea confuses me, as love IS
essentially friendship. At least the way that
I define the terms.

What I don't understand is how anyone can allow themselves to be seen in such a vulnerable state without the trust which develops in a loving, romantic relationship? I mean, I cannot see myself allowing anyone I didn't feel I could trust getting that close to me physically. To do so would require me keeping a weapon on hand at all times to feel at ease.

My weapon is DRAWN at that moment.

ummm.....ummm...

See when I look at the OP I see "This is my opinion and I want to see people agree with me". It's like he's trying to convince himself that sex without strings is better than relationships on some objective level. And that at the same time guys are lying to themselves about what they want. Pffft, I'm not interested in simple sex.

You mean I am actually supposed to know what I want?

All I know is that my current situation ain't working for me, I'd gladly settle for some drama at this point.

I love and care for myself, and if I'm interested in someone in a closer intimate sense, I also care for them too and respect them well.
It doesn't feel natural for me to do this stuff without caring for the other.