is AS+AS a good idea? Or AS+ADHD, or do we need NT's?

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MaverickPS
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22 Nov 2007, 8:48 am

I just recently found out that I am AS after my younger sister, who was having more trouble in school than I was at that point. Friendships have always been quite a challenge for me, but somehow I seem to have always find some girl to date. First one lasted 3 years, then 2 years, then 1.5 years, and most ended because they could not deal with the frustration that I put into the relationship, and how I never seemed to understand why I upset them. None of this really made much sense to me till I found out about AS. Now I dont want to just use it as a crutch and tell girls they will have to deal with it from the start, but some chineese dude said 'know thy enemy' and now that I know what causes some of my relationship problems maybe I can better combat them and try to have a successful relationship... maybe random pieces of advice from yall.

But the big topic on my mind is, is it a good idea from someone with AS to try to date another person with AS? My thinking tells me that the mutual understanding of each others issues would lead to better things than trying to always have a NT "deal" with the issues. Any thoughts?



shadexiii
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22 Nov 2007, 9:40 am

It is good for someone to view individuals as individuals, rather than as parts of a homogeneous group. It isn't as simple as whether someone is AS, NT, ADHD, or any other label. Sure, the label might give some insight to the individual, but likely not enough to base any judgment on. If it is for you, then you already have the answer to your question.



sarahstilettos
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22 Nov 2007, 9:47 am

My thoughts on this...

There are only ever so few people that I am both attracted to and feel like I've got something in common with.
The estimate of how many people have AS seems to be about 7 in 1000.

So there are only very few people I'd want to date anyway, and if I was specifically looking for someone who also had AS I'd only be interested in a hundredth of that number. It seems silly to restrict myself. Especially since I don't know how understanding people with Aspergers really are towards each other... I wouldn't say I myself was very understanding, even towards traits that I know exist in myself. I also fail to read people properly and come across as paranoid, and I have this vision of dating someone who was also misreading me and getting paranoid... what a mess it would be.

So, overall, I'd say you want to be looking for someone with a similar outlook, similar interests to you, maybe that person will have AS or maybe they won't, whichever. You just muddle through.

Mr MaverickPS, you don't say how old you are? Three years is a pretty long relationship, I should feel good about holding it down for that long.