Im an ass aren't I?

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Its really unexplainable for me. I suppose I have a fear of commitment or something or I just prefer being alone. Ill start off with a little back story. For over a couple years one of my good friends happened to be a girl; and it was good. We never thought about dating or anything and I liked it that way. The weirdness started about a few months ago. I often like to be left alone but I guess she didn't understand that (I also had no way of voicing my needs). So I would get phone calls and she would invite me to do things and I would try to make up reasons why I couldn't go out. One particular night she invited me to hang out; I said I was drunk (though I wasn't really) and couldn't drive so she drove to my house against my protests and picked me up. I still wasn't irked it was better than sitting at home I guess. After hanging we went back to my house and nothing major happened. We just were sitting there then she started sort of laying on my chest and I guess flirting with me (though I'm not sure what flirting really is). I made a joke about making out and she said "that would be nice" or something . Anyways I just couldn't help but feel very uncomfortable in that position. I love girls but ever since then I haven't been able to talk to her. Frankly and this might make me seem like an inconsiderate as*hole but we haven't talked in over a month. The first week was normal as I often go through phases of preferring to be alone but its been a long time now. I'm getting a lot of voicemails and myspace comments and I have NO idea what to do. When my phone rings I'm afraid to answer it because I have no idea what to say. I mean I cant just say "I feel uncomfortable around you now and we cant hang out anymore.". Besides the fact that thats incredibly rude it also makes me sound like a nut. Any ideas on how to deal with this from the WP crowd?

pure friendship between adult males and females doesn't exist ....how many times i must repeat that?

anyways, it seems that you don't appreciate the good luck:P

I'm assuming that the "88" in kshea88 means that you're 19.

Everyone who is 19 makes some mistakes. Live and learn.

Meanwhile, giving her a little explanation might be a good thing for both of you.

Look, if this person is close enough
to be a real friend, you damned well
better get around to saying such things.
But, open the subject up when you are spending
some time together, and okay. Just explain that
you really need to be by yourself, at times, and that
you're not blowing her off, but can't always be
up for fun.

All the same, I'd also suggest making one hell
of an effort to be there for her, whenever it's
important - even if it's painful for you. That's
just part of being a friend.


And LPP, just because you can't make friends
with the opposite sex doesn't mean that others
are stuck in that same mindset.

Well, I guess I'm the exception which proves your rule

My closest friend is an NT married bloke - we've been friends for 17 years now with no sex or gender issues getting in the way. He's like my brother, without the teasing and annoying fraternal behaviour

LP is always the expert. I also have a female friend who I consider a really good friend, possibly best friend though I don't use that terminology. I have feelings for someone else.

kshea88 you sound a lot like me you have trouble getting close to people. The only thing you can do really is explain everything you know as you understand it now. It is a really audacious scary thing I appreciate. But unless you want to be alone for every for this to be a recurring theme it is definitely a good idea.

I should have taken my advice, would have had some relationship experience at the very least.

you bet !

as i said in other threads ...."...except childhood friendships", only in case of childhood friendship between the 2 genders succeeds.

Last edited by LePetitPrince on 18 Oct 2007, 12:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm expert expert!

You can be wrong as often as you'd like.

One of the best friends I have had is female, and it is just that, friendship, and nothing more. We didn't meet in childhood, but during college, so I guess your little addendum didn't save your argument.

haha

i have more guy friends than girl friends... and definitely no hanky panky goin on anywhere

^^ sometimes what you believe is not real and what you see may hide many deep secrets that you are not even aware of it .

Well, given that I'm kind of a child,
and all my lovers were too, as well
as most of my friends, I guess I really
can't refute this with my personal experiences.

Oh oh. I'm getting The Sex, and not even aware of it?

The Sex works in mysterious ways, apparently.