long distance dating

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Has anyone made a successful go of this? I'm trying it now for the first time, and it's frustrating. I think the main problem is that I'm terrible at phone conversations. It's hard enough for me to tell what people are thinking when they're in front of me, but when you only have audio to go on, and the other person is quiet, it's impossible. It's been over 6 years since I've "dated" anyone, so I'm not in good form. I say things meant as a joke and they're taken as insults. I try to explain that socializing is hard for me, and it's taken as personal disinterest. I feel like, by pure virtue of being myself, I'm screwing everything up.

It's all the more frustrating because the girl is really smart and goofy and different. Why must it be so hard to express emotions? The one thing I have accurately expressed to her is my feeling of starting a relationship. I was searching for an analogy of how it feels, and realized that it's like a landing a plane on a tricky runway. It's turbulent and frightening, but if you can navigate through it, you'll land, and you can take a breath and kiss the ground. It's easy to abandon the landing, to pull up on the stick and get back to a comfortable cruising altitude, but you eventually want to find a nice place to land.

Pointless for me.
I can't hold someone,
if I can't touch them.

I was in a long-distance relationship for three years. It worked out great in the beginning, but it ended because we were polar opposites in many things (the thing we had in common was AS), plus she was trying to help her family, and I was trying to finish my education. Distance had nothing to do with it.

She and I are still very good friends.

Tim

I'm in a long distance relationship right now. My NT boyfriend lives 45mins away, which is not really that far, I mean I can go visit him anytime I want, but its still a long distance. Its been very hard, he can't always be there for me in a flash, if something happened he could get here in 25mins haha, has done it before, but it still takes some time. If I don't see him for like 3 or more days, Its like I totally erase him from my memory, when he comes to see me, It takes me soo long to warm up to him, its like he has to make me like him all over again, like 50 first dates haha . I loved that movie lol. So he makes sure to see me at least every 2 days or so, and every weekend. We talk on the phone every night, and through text messages too. If phone conversations are very hard for you, maybe you should start out with texting like crazy, or going on instant messanger, to stay in touch.

Anyways In a way I'm glad hes long distance right now mainly because I can have more alone time for myself, and have days for myself, and not have to worry about anybody else. We've been dating for about 2 years now. It might all change though in the next couple weeks, because hes going to get a job close to me, so i'll be seeing him every night which is going to be a huge adjustment and change for me . My advice to you is to make sure to always try to stay in touch, either through text, email, instant message, letters, anything so it doesn't seem as differcult with a long distance relationship. Make sure to visit each other, don't be the only one driving to go see her, make sure she drives to you sometimes, so its equal. I've driven to see my boyfriend twice, and got family members to drive me also. I don't drive very long distances, I can, its just that I'm not the best at it. Good luck though !

_________________
Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated

Is it a flaw that I'm so steadfast? I would try to make that work unquestionably... I'm trying to get with someone who lives very far away... setting myself up for a rocky road.

I am in a long-distance relationship, but sadly my sweetheart hasn't been on MSN for a while so I am missing her, not had any emails off her either, so I feel a bit low in myself right now because I can't talk to her

Of my latest 5 crushes, three girls lived in Oceania while I lived in Europe. So distance was about 8000 km Still, if they wanted it as well, I would have loved to give it a try. I am a traveller anyway so a girlfriend far away is no issue for me. I would just see visiting each-other as more travels, and if I really feel sure about my feelings for her I would just move to her country. I don't feel like settling, I love moving regularly. If the girl I fall in love with lives 500 miles away, I see that as only a small frontier but one that is easy to cross.

I had some that failed, and one that succeeded. The ones that failed might have been doomed no matter what, but the obvious cause of their demise was that they remained purely long distance, we never met face to face. The one that worked was the exception, we talked online for a month, then spent a weekend together, went back to online for another month, then she moved in with me.

I strongly encourage regular doses of the in-person experience. People tend to wrap others in magical crush fantasy aura even in person, but online it's much more so. There's too little reality in the online experience, and it's too easy to fill in the gaps with what you want, rather than to accept the unknown areas as unknown (and possibly not at all what you'd like). There's nothing like spending some time together to put things to the test, to see how much is real and how much is wishful thinking. And if you're supposed to be together, then you may as well stop torturing yourselves and actually GET together, eh?

I'm sure that others may disagree, but I could not be faithful to bits and pixels indefinitely. Sooner or later, someone with an actual physical presence would get my attention, so the less time spent in long-distance mode the better.

I have no choice but to do a long-distance relationship because there aren't any single, liberal Aspie women anywhere near me.

Tim

I wouldn't starta a relationship with a woman that didn't live close enoguh to see each other at least twice a week or so. I just don't see the point of it, there's the heartache of not having the person there. I did a long-distance relationship in the past (it wasn't long-distance at first) and not seeing one another was a contributing factor to breaking up. Unless one of you is moving soonish, i don't see a point to it.

I will be graduating from college in roughly 2 years. But the type of person I am looking for doesn't exist in my area, so I have no choice but to do a long-distance relationship.

Tim