obsessive compulsive tendencies effects on dating.

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Has anyone else experienced this, or is it just me?

It is very rare I find anyone I am attracted to. Which seems to be the case with alot of people with AS

1st-I have read people with higher than normal IQ are generally only attracted to others with abt. the same IQ. Which is a much smaller % of the population. Also, people with AS are more eccentric, usually attracted to similiar people, and have obsessive compulsive tendencies.

So this is how it can go at times:

The attraction begins, obsession with new subject kicks in. The (human)object of our infatuation may truley end up returning the feelings over time.

Then after studying the person inside and out with narrow minded focus, (like a person with aspergers often does) boredom with subject begins to set in.

Then the subject is abandoned like yesturdays news.
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It is very sad but often works this way (aspergers or not). It just seems more intense with Aspergers, and harder to maintain "any relationship for extended times at all".

The obsession with the person is so intense, it can interefere with daily life, then totally burns out.

The problem/question is this. Does anyone find it is nearly impossible to stay interested in one person for extended amounts of time?

I have read that people w/aspergers have less empathy. This seems like it would make it very hard to maintain long term realtionships when the subject matter is completely learned/figured out.

Like any topic, they are then put in a mental catagory and filed away. Like a book that was read, info learned, now it's boring. Time for next subject of interest

Is this normal, or am I just an evil cold hearted freak????hahahaha, if I am, what can i do about it, it's just how I feel.

I am incapable of formimg lasting realtionships and should stay single forever to spare anyone else

I think the question is what you're looking for in a relationship.

There are things to be gained by sticking it out till the next wave of fascination hits- and the next, and the next. ..

I don't know that a relationship founded only on obsession is something I'd ever want to be in. . . and I don't know that it's possible to make such a thing last.

However, if, rather than just obsession, you seek companionship and committed persuit of common goals. . . there are things to do to make it, well, a relationship- even when you aren't obsessed.

No one here remembers but I became infatuated with a TV character in the '70's called Diana Danby from UpstairsDownstairs. It just so happens there was a girl in my school who was her spitting image. We partied hearty together over the years(she happened to be one of my sisters friends)but we never connected so to speak.To this day I can't remember if I fell in love with the girl first or the TV character. Again, to this day that look is my archetype for female beauty. Luckly I guess I'm slowly getting out of this terrible long term obsession. I can't wait until the're all gone.

I'm kind of surprised that you find very many to burn out on.

I never hit the boredom phase. I remained infatuated, and thus somewhat clumsy...

if i can sit and listen to "she drives me crazy" by fine young canibals ALL DAY EVERYDAY.... for even just 1/24th of a single day...

that more than qualifies me for a LIFELONG relationship

Yep, been here done this, in the midst of it, only it doesn't really cause me to lose interest in that I tend to remain friends with those I have had infatuation with, tho in truth there have not been that many, maybe 3-4 people. Current has lasted over 16 months and it is my obsession in that I analyse details etc and talk about them whenever I get the chance.

I think aspies are more like. . . eh, at least two percent, possibly five percent or more.

We just never talk to each other in real life.

Plus, there's tons of borderline sorts of folks. ..

Since it's a matter of certain
traits being identified, one can
have them more strongly. One
can also have MORE of them.

The Dx is merely a formal recognition
that those traits exist in sufficient quantity.
It is easy to imagine someone barely fitting
the criteria - or fitting ALL of them completely.

The more I learn sometimes the less interested I become. If that makes sense.

A number of studies have been done on the prevalence of AS, and the answers have usually ranged between 0.2% and 0.4% of the population. The highest estimate for diagnosable cases is, as far as I know, just under 0.5%. If you added in those that seemed very much like aspies, but were diagnosed with autism, and those who aren't quite diagnosable with anything but who have definite autistic traits, it might well hit 2%.