A hard core, a big risk taker, a survivor, and yet...

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This typical aspie trait?
Why do aspies feel so much emotion and pain when they become attached to people? We're treading ground that we think we're no where near as accustomed to as NT's? What is it?

Our bizarrely wired brains become immensely overwhelmed with that extra thing thrown in?
Knowing we tread razor's edge stuff?
Good stuff our brains are not accustomed to because they're good things?

p.s. I now have a slight headache... lol this stuff confuses me even though I'm in good form.

I think I understand what you mean. I, too, get more emotionally attached to people I like than what seems to be normal. But I try not to let on that I feel this way.

The way I've always experienced it is that I find so few people I can relate to that when I do make some kind of connection with someone, I feel as though they're some kind of long-lost relative or soulmate. Like we're both aliens from the same planet. Or something like that.

Then it usually turns out that it's more the idea of the person I like than who they actually are. I admit I have a tendency to idealize people in a sense. When I like someone (in any way), they enter my imagination and the imaginary version of them takes on a life of its own. I guess this is my version of developing a close friendship.

I'm not sure if this is an aspie thing or if it has to do with introversion in general.

I dunno...I seem to get awfully attached to people when I do. Maybe it is just the lack of social experience? Logically, I can't see how someone speed dating could get very attached to anyone...but I'm not sure that is common among us as it is not a simple matter to find someone interested in a romantic relationship.

With this stuff most of my emotions are increased ten-fold... how goddamn unpredictable will I become as I continue to grow more attached eh? lol

I swear I fall into categories 'emotional aspie' and 'paranoid aspie' to quite an extent... in a sense I guess high intelligence is fair... I'm no professor or great general knowledge guy, but I analyze things well and become overwhelmed by my daunting mind... as for emotional well - it's kind of obvious and self explanatory.

I'm not socially disinclined because I think all people are boring (or worse), I just think that the vast majority are. But I'm perfectly capable of being lonely, too. And when I happen to stumble across someone who I don't find boring, I may feel like making up for lost time.

We may not want quantity, yet still wish for quality.

Well-put. Me too.

I know what you mean. Then when you let your guard down and tell them how you feel, it's like you've exposed some big gaping hole in the armor and you just know they're going to stick a knife there.

I hate feeling so damn vulnerable. I crave that connection with someone but as soon as I show them anything I'm feeling I beat the hell out of myself emotionally because I feel like I've brought whatever is coming (possible ridicule, rejection) on myself. I can tell someone facts about myself all day long and not care, but telling someone how I feel is a huge step for me in trying to get closer to someone. Sometimes I wish I could flip a switch and turn the emotions off.

I have this issue as well. There were times where I had become attached to people, sometimes without them knowing, and I made plans to visit them or even move to where they were (again, without them knowing). And just when my plans were about to come to fruition, they did something to hurt me emotionally.

Tim

Yeah man, especially when that feels alien to you at a current time... as in - if you're on good form and your self-esteem is high... it makes things even more weird than you can comprehend.

That's basically what I'm in. I never give meself a break - that constant hungry drive of mine... I never give in. When on good form I'm unshakable.

I did tell her I have bizarre big confidence swings... meh lol we just treated it as something else to talk about *shrugs*
Aspies can cope with more in some situations than the average NT can cope with, but when it comes to this it feels like we're trying to defy the rules of nature.

No, I'm trying to become more of a risk taker. I have blunted emotions it is hard to know how I feel about somebody until it too late and even then I have to focus on it intensely. The feeling can be strong when I focus on it, it is just not clear how to interpret it. I'm tired of the apathy. I know I feel for someone, I struggle to deal with it in one way or another.

Yes I’ve done some outrageous things for me, but it is a conscientious effort because of this. I don't want to be alone.

More about this later…

I've become more of a risk taker myself.

Tim

Evilkimkim yes you describe it so eloquently! I have had this same experience too! Most people seem a bit dull then I meet somone who I get on with, laugh with and I get a little too absorbed with them, occasionally obsessed. But its realising that half the time it is an illusion, my imagination has added to the person thus creating a flimsy pedestal for them.

Yeah. Stuff like this screws with my mind to the point I cant even work out what questions to ask myself/anyone else to try and work out where the problem starts, or even what the problem is.

It seems impossible to be seen as anything other then either far too self absorbed and reclusive, or far too needy and open.