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Ok so I have been talking to this girl from my university, we have hung out twice and have been running into each other off and on etc...

First time we hung out we just wandered but I near the end of the night she displayed signs of "lets have sex" as she seem very flustered and such. We both were checking each other out and kinda standing there in an awkward "what should we do now" phase.

So we hung out again a week and a half later.

Same deal; wandered around and got to know each other more. I am the kind of person who likes to act standoffish and let them speak, ask questions etc then let them ask me anything. I do this to construct an accurate idea of who they are. This time I gave her a nice hug and held her close to me, no kiss. I checked her out a bit too to let her know I am interested, but I still need some time before moving on to that step.

Now this past tuesday I ran into her on the subway and we talked a bit and she mentioned our previously established engagement for sometime later that week (after thursday) I never forgot, plan is to go pawn shopping, bring her back here and show her who I am (musically, I write music and play guitar and she is interested in that) perhaps fool around and see what develops.

So I texted her thursday night about how we should hang out friday and I'll be around school, she never responded nor was she at school. I assumed she perhaps had plans and it was my mistake not to ask her the day before (wednesday). I sense avoidance and its weird.

I just called her a few hours ago (friday), she never answered but I left her a message letting her know that I want to get together and she should get back to me and let me know when she has some freedom on her plate so I could eat it (in those words). I also texted her a little joke earlier that day about how I saw a homeless guy selling office supplies down the street, random, yes.

Now I don't know if I messed this up or not, but I really do like her I am just having a hard time getting into this. I have been in an intense introspective state for the past three years and this feels like my ticket out of it.

Any suggestions?

I am not sure whether I should wait for her to get back to me, as I feel that if I throw anymore attempts out there she may get turned off? I have been kind of distant the whole time we've been getting to know each other and we've been talking for about a month now. It seems like she really does like me, we met a year ago at some party, but I was having a moment in life where I threw myself in a basement and wrote a bunch of music for the future.... Then I got back to her and started talking to her to let her know I never forgot.

I sense too many possibilities... Perhaps she met someone new thursday night, perhaps she's just out having fun, perhaps this, perhaps that. It's weird. She's always willing to talk to me over msn, and has mentioned she doesn't like cellphones (even though her phone WAS busy when I tried calling it).

I dunno, I am a very creative person and this situation is branching off into too many directions for me to handle.

i SHOULD PROBALBY also mention that that was the first time i ever texted or called her

Honestly? You came on way too strong for any self-respecting woman. It's possible she either a) had second thoughts, probably after her friends pointed out to her she was acting like a slut, or b) found another guy she's more interested in having meaningless sex with.

Or maybe I'm wrong. Either way, I'd back off and let her make the next move.

Well it sounds like its heading towards more than meaningless sex, and yes she is a slut. I didn't even touch her the first time we hung out... that was 3 weeks ago... I don't think I am coming on that strong... My actions the past few days, yes. I am worried about those.

I had been playing teh distant card now I feel like I made myself feel desperate, but I really just want to hang out with her, she's nifty.

But I am thinking she might have interpreted the hug as a "lets just be friends hug" even though it wasn't. I don't hug anyone.

My friend who is in my band knows her and has probably mentioned to her that I have autistic tendencies, and the way she was speaking the first time we hung out made it seemed like she knew but didn't care and said things like "I don't like labels and I think eccentric people are cool." Either way, a lot of her speech sounded like she knew.

Either way I know she is probably confused. I want to explain myself to her but on the other hand I feel I should just continue with my studies and let her get back to me.

That felt much better, I feel like I am at the point where I can choose to let her go or continue. I guess only time will tell.

I think the smart thing to do in this case is to back off and stop over-analyzing everything (because it sounds like that's what you're doing). Also take into consideration that she has a reputation for being a slut. You run the risk of getting attached to someone who is probably quite shallow or has many emotional issues.

At the very least, make sure she's been tested recently and use condoms.

Armchair psychology FTW!1!11

Hey, what good is this place if I can't facilitate my unconscious need to psychoanalyze everyone and everything in order to make up for the inadequate relationship I had with my father as a child?

Seriously though, most people here get too attached too easily and that mixed with the wrong person is a recipe for disaster. If you want to get laid and that's all, go for it as long as you protect yourself. Just don't expect much else from someone like this. I'm just being realistic here.