Finding Solutions To My Own AS/NT Divide

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My tale is a familiar one to many on WP and I'm hoping to find solutions to the problems that I have been encountering in my relationship with my NT fiancee since we moved into together in late July. It's amazing to me what happens when two people share the same space!

1.) My "Social Loner" Personality vs. Her Very Social Personality
Ex.: The perfect example of this divergence was last Saturday (27 October) when we went to
her best friend's Halloween party. I did not want to go and she said that this was o.k., but it
would disappoint her. I ended up going out of a sense of duty, had a miserable time, and
ended up getting the silent treatment all the way home because I did not want to dance or
engage in small talk. I continuously get, "Why don't you just go live as a hermit" from
her when I say that I need a private room in which to pursue my special interests.

2.) My Extreme Systematic (Fixed) Personality vs. Her Very Empathetic (Mutable) Personality
Ex.: I need to have a highly organized environment, a daily routine, and hate change. On the
other hand, she can live in total chaos (clutter everywhere) and is very adaptable to most
situations. Needless to say, we get into arguments about this all the time because neither of
us can see why the other is the way they are.

There are some other little things as well:
a.) My propensity to be honest at all costs vs. Her use of social niceties.
b.) My unsteady libido vs. Her strong one,
c.) My "stick-to-it" attitude (be it the dishes, a personal project, or a college degree) vs. Her
attitude of "I'll finish something if it has meaning to me" (i.e. she was one semester away
from obtaining her associate's degree, but quit school because it no longer was what she
wanted).

Right now I'm truly torn between leaving her and returning to the safety of my mom's house vs. the undying loyalty and love that I feel for her *instant flashes of The Clash's "Should I Stay or Should I Go"* Any suggestions on how to clear up these problems?

My solution to problem one:

Seeing As i've never had a date in my life let alone a girlfriend yet i cant say i know for certain Heck I'm trying To get the attention of an woman who's an NT, But make it a point to explain why you do this making it clear it's your form of relaxation, and about you in a social setting simply tell her you prefer either time between the two of you or small gatherings. (assuming you prefer smaller gathering at all)

as for the second problem:

Try to compromise keep the important and most commonly used rooms clean

and the little problems:
A. find a medium point like subtle hints without being blatant.
B. I can guess I won't have this problem, sure it will take someone I feel comfortable with but when I do, I have a hunch I'll be more than willing to have sex whenever she wants, Sorry I can't suggest advice there.
C. I guess if you love her you can accept this about her, A relation ship is about loving your mate for their flaws as well as their strenghts.

Thanks for the advice loudmouth, I have to remember that we all have our own strengths and flaws and that I'm not the center of the universe; there's a middle way that I have to find and believe in.

Anyway, not to seem ungrateful, but I have actually tried your several of your suggestions:

1.) Social Situations: I get this reply "Spouses are supposed to support each other socially and I don't want to be attending parties alone for the rest of my life. You need to be there with me." Although I think a compromise could be going to every other one, if she'll go along with it.

2.) Organization v. Disorganization: The most commonly used room is the family room, which I clean daily and she messes up daily. If only I could have my own room again, I'd be fine...we'll have to wait and see on this one.

Tough situations, yes, but hopefully I will actually learn "give and take" in this relationship; that's what's exploded all of my friendships and other romances previous to this one.