Can aspies have a lover and a friend?!

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My boyfriend (we are gay) is an aspie and has recently made good friends with a girl who he works with.

I was initially really pleased about this as they share the same interests etc. and have fun together and I always like it when he makes friends.

However, it has been apparant to me that when he is with this girl I do not seem to exist and he does everything that this girl suggests. Bascially I guess I feel as though I've been replaced!

I am completely supportive of his aspergers and was wondering if having one dominant friend is a trait of aspies. Also, I was wondering how I should behave regarding this.

I want him to be her friend as he enjoys her company but I dont quite know what to do as she has started saying bad things about me like I control him and he should get rid of me etc.

All of this is effecting our relationship and is confusing both of us.

Wondering if anyone could give some advice?

" it has been apparant to me that when he is with this girl I do not seem to exist and he does everything that this girl suggests"

sounds very aspie.

I'm not an expert but I'm guessing that since aspies get obsessed about people (and things) he's probably obsessed about this girl.
I'm not saying that he is. it could mean nothing or just a friendship.
I do this with my friends (very few of them)

I know I find it very difficult to have a conversation with more than one person, so if I talk to more than one person I will have to focus on one of them. I also find it hard to sustain too many friendships at once as its so much effort just to maintain one.


You probably need to talk to each other about it very directly but try to keep any emotions under control when you do this. Which I know is very hard. I hope you sort it out.

I'm male & straight, and am always getting into trouble for talking to my best (also male) friend, excluding everyone else from our conversations. It is, as you say, as though nobody else is there. I just get caught up and forget.

It's not intentional, but (after repeated reminders ) I'm working on it.