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Aspie_Chav
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12 Nov 2007, 5:02 pm

I am convinced that I am not going to find the special one. I am just looking for someone to fill a void .Does that mean I should go out to night clubs again?

How do I convince someone that they are the centre of my world when they are not. I feel can’t get used this these lies but it is better then 356 days a year of misery.



Aspie1
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12 Nov 2007, 5:11 pm

Sign up for dating site. Although the desperation factor of online dating has fallen dramatically during the past five years, it's still viewed my some people as a last resort. Contact only those people who look like they'd have trouble finding dates offline: someone who's overweight, very plain-looking, has a somewhat weird description in the profile, or actually mentioning that they haven't dated in a whole. Once you've her to respond to your message, talk online for about a week, and arrange a coffee date. Beyond that, follow any standard relationship advice: call her regularly, compliment her, spend time with her, talk about stuff that means a lot to you, just don't go overboard and show your desperation in the process. I know some people will say that you'll be living a lie, but when you're got no real alternative, you gotta do what you gotta do.



hartzofspace
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12 Nov 2007, 5:27 pm

Well, if you follow Aspie1's advice, please don't say (if the dating site specifies) that you are looking for a committed relationship if you are not. I think a lot of people pick that to get more replies. If its clear that it is a casual relationship, at least both people are on the same page.


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Tim_Tex
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12 Nov 2007, 5:29 pm

I could never go out with someone just to fill a void.

Tim


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ToadOfSteel
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12 Nov 2007, 11:27 pm

Women don't really dig that "I need you in my life" thing, or, if they do, they're probably trying to manipulate you into their pet or something. Also, although I can't say from personal experience, I have heard many times that people's lives are still incomplete regardless of relational status. This is one of life's biggest conundrums... life is always incomplete...



Aspie_Chav
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13 Nov 2007, 2:00 am

Its not though I am bored with life. I know that I more depressed then most people because I am loneliness.



i_Am_andaJoy
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13 Nov 2007, 4:18 am

i thnk it is a lose-lose situation either way. you are either lonely and depressed... or you fill the void and still feel alone and depressed. sometimes it is worse to be ALONE with another person in the room because i find that even more depressing... so, your kinda screwed either way... so if you like to drink and/or dance then go clubbing again for awhile. i think its good to switch up the routine even if you are not ultimately going to net any more happiness.


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Aspie_Chav
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13 Nov 2007, 9:04 am

I will never be just as depressed if I was in such a relationship. The chance are that I will not like the idea of investing time/ money into something that is a dead end. Life is a learning experience but spending time in such a relationship do not bring such opportunities to learn. There are many things that I want to do, so I wouldn’t eventually feel that I am happy enough to be by myself again, and either leave the relationship or neglect it until she decides to end it.

They way I am talking about it, you would wonder why I would want such a relationship, It is simple. The pain is too much .



Ragtime
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13 Nov 2007, 9:32 am

hartzofspace wrote:
Well, if you follow Aspie1's advice, please don't say (if the dating site specifies) that you are looking for a committed relationship if you are not. I think a lot of people pick that to get more replies. If its clear that it is a casual relationship, at least both people are on the same page.


Agreed. Tons of people just want casual relationships these days, so just say at the beginning that that's what you want. That way, you won't be playing games with people, and pissing them off later.


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Ragtime
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13 Nov 2007, 9:36 am

Aspie_Chav wrote:
They way I am talking about it, you would wonder why I would want such a relationship, It is simple. The pain is too much .


I've been there bro. I dated a woman earlier this year -- even got engaged to her. But then, after dating her pulled me out of my painful, long-lasting depression, I woke up and realized marriage wasn't what I really wanted. I totally thought I did, but I didn't. But I couldn't see that while I was in the depression funk -- all I knew was I HAD to get out of that depression! So I wasn't seeing real clearly when I got into the relationship. After the relationship cheered me up to normal, I realized it wasn't what I wanted. So I had to end it -- it was only fair to her to be honest, and not pretend I was still interested when I wasn't.


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ToadOfSteel
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13 Nov 2007, 9:42 am

Ragtime wrote:
Aspie_Chav wrote:
They way I am talking about it, you would wonder why I would want such a relationship, It is simple. The pain is too much .


I've been there bro. I dated a woman earlier this year -- even got engaged to her. But then, after dating her pulled me out of my painful, long-lasting depression, I woke up and realized marriage wasn't what I really wanted. I totally thought I did, but I didn't. But I couldn't see that while I was in the depression funk -- all I knew was I HAD to get out of that depression! So I wasn't seeing real clearly when I got into the relationship. After the relationship cheered me up to normal, I realized it wasn't what I wanted. So I had to end it -- it was only fair to her to be honest, and not pretend I was still interested when I wasn't.


Well at least that relationship pulled you out of depression. I went through a depression throughout most of High school, which was, in fact, both started and ended because of the same woman (starting when she rejected me the first time, ended when I found out some things about her that made me re-evaluate my opinion of her)



Aspie_Chav
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13 Nov 2007, 5:39 pm

Ragtime wrote:
Aspie_Chav wrote:
They way I am talking about it, you would wonder why I would want such a relationship, It is simple. The pain is too much .


I've been there bro. I dated a woman earlier this year -- even got engaged to her. But then, after dating her pulled me out of my painful, long-lasting depression, I woke up and realized marriage wasn't what I really wanted. I totally thought I did, but I didn't. But I couldn't see that while I was in the depression funk -- all I knew was I HAD to get out of that depression! So I wasn't seeing real clearly when I got into the relationship. After the relationship cheered me up to normal, I realized it wasn't what I wanted. So I had to end it -- it was only fair to her to be honest, and not pretend I was still interested when I wasn't.


Did don't matter if I want it or not without it, this depression is just going to continue. There is no video that could ever exist that could make me feel good about being alone. It is like making somone feel happy about having a tooth ache



0_equals_true
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13 Nov 2007, 5:43 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
...has a somewhat weird description in the profile

I deleted my weird description, maybe it wasn't weird enough. :lol: