Ok just wondering

Post Reply New Topic

Hope this fits. Im just wondering in here if there are people in here that only want sex like casual relationships because you love being alone and you have your friends for the other stuff. Just wondering.

Sex for its own sake is a waste of energy. Finding someone, convincing them to have casual sex with you, proceeding to the bedroom, doing it, and then ending the relationship is just too much to handle just to blow a load.

This is much more efficient:

I spent 3 years single for this very reason. I was happy with my life as it was and didnt want the added pressure of a relationship messing it all up. I had "friends" who took care of my sexual needs but asked for nothing beyond that.

Almost a year ago that all changed, and I really think it was because I was at a place in my life where I was happy alone and not looking for a relationship simply for the sake of having one and being normal. I met my boyfriend on another online site, and he moved from the USA to Canada on New Years of 07. I couldnt be happier, he accepts me for who and am and even loves all of the little quirks that make me me.

There is nothing wrong with being happy alone, and just enjoying your life as it is. Actually thats the advice I give most people is to stop looking and just coast. If you are meant to be with someone it will happen when it happens. You may just meet someone one day who throws that all out the window.

More efficient but it still gets pretty boring after awhile. Must be because sex is about more than just "blowing a load" for me.

Note that I'm not saying that I'm against relationships in general; I still want to get involved in a romantic relationship some day. My only issue is that I want it to be a meaningful and committed relationship, not some purely physical stuff

I don't think there's anything wrong with casual sex, or friends with benefits. Sex is fun. It's not easy to find someone you want to have a relationship with. It's a personal decision.

Personally, I don't like the concept, but to each his own.

While this is probably true (can't confirm based on personal experience), I would prefer sexual relations in the context of a more complete relationship. Sex without love just seems... empty... in my mind. Sex also isnt the only thing that's fun. Playing Oblivion is fun. Watching South Park is fun. Reading a good book (or in my case, a wikipedia article) is fun.

This I can definitely agree with.

I guess it all comes down to what each person expects in a relationship and what they expect to put into and get out of one. Personally, my concept of "relationship" emphasizes the points of commitment more than simple passion. Mostly, I want a relationship that can last the test of time. I want to have a "soul mate" in the classical sense of the word, someone I will be with not just until death, but beyond.

I thought exactly the same as a virgin.
I think that was because i always linked 'sex' to 'my first time I will have sex'.

Now I've had sex (with a person i loved), i think differently; I'd be perfectly fine having sex with a friend without love having to do anything with it.
Right now, I'd love having some good friends for emotional support and fun on one hand and a sex-buddy on the other.

Well, actually, now I want the opposite of all of that really, it may be depression/loneliness, but I yearn most for an intimate relationship based kisses, cuddles, romance etc, almost like how many woman seem to value relationships.. I don't know what that says about me being a straight guy!

I've had a few "causal" sexual encounters, I've always felt awkward about having sex with somebody I don't know that well, and don't particularly want to get to know better. As many Aspies seem to do, I tend to keep others at arms length, I only have a tolerance for so much socialising, which leaves me in a bit of a conundrum regarding how, and with whom, I enter into a "lets get to really know each other first" type relationship!

There are many ironic aspects of AS..

If I want sex, I will just jerk off or pony up for a hot escort. If I want stimulating conversation, and to learn things about myself and the other person, a relationship.

I'm much the same. I don't know if I'm just not doing it right, but sex isn't exciting enough for me to get naked with someone I barely know. Conversation is taxing enough. I just want to find a girl I can relate to, and spoon up on the couch watching TV.

I just felt empty for a relationship after I watched all the episodes of Kim Possible but that lasted for a week. I feel if I want sex I get sex but if I want stimulating talk I have my friends.

No way!

Spot on there.

I think part of my dislikes how relationships seem to be formed today, that is through group dynamics and pairing off.. it just seems superficial and confusing to me. I'm more keen on having a one on one relationship, rather than having a relationship with another and her 537 myspace "friends"! Don't get me wrong, I would never begrudge a partner not having friends, I totally agree with being able to do your own thing within a relationship too, but I'm just looking for somebody that has the same old fashioned approach to relationships.