Volatility over Tameness

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I'm just starting to figure out what I like in a potential partner, and I quite like a bit of volatility it seems. I wouldn't want them to be a complete messat the time, but I just like someone who is not perfect or a saint and doesn’t pretend to be, especially if they have or are trying to put things right for themselves and want to be themselves. I admire that quality in a woman or anyone really.

However this is something I feel completely out of my depth with, it not something that I really thought about until recently. Whereas with tamer women (I don't mean to cause offense, this is entirely comparative term) I could see myself more easily entering a relationship and trusting them, but I just don't feel I would get anything out of it. There are some really nice girls I have met but beyond friendly chitchat I don't see anything happening.

I suppose what I'm really attracted to is independent mindedness and maybe that can sometime be connected volatility. I wouldn't say all the girls, that I have previously, of yet. If I think of the opposite it is a real turn off, even if they might agree with me all the time. Well, especially if they agree with me all the time

Is perusing somebody with a history a bad idea for somebody with my experience and how to avoid getting burnt?

I prefer non-volatility myself... arguments are just a detriment that can tear a relationship apart. Whoever said that arguments form the basis of a relationship was full of $%&^ (pardon my language there)...

Don't get me wrong, communication is still necessary in a relationship; even logical debate over rational points is healthy (it shows that you can respectfully disagree over something with your significant other.) However, arguments (as interpreted by modern society) can only serve to destroy, not aid.

Why volatility? Aren't there any assertive women who don't throw scrambled eggs at you if you say "boo"?

What I mean is, are you sure the qualities that you like always go hand-in-hand with a short temper? It sounds like you just want someone who is honest about her feelings instead of self-editing, but that needn't imply volatile.

Ok maybe we are not quite singing from the same hymn sheet. I don't necessarily mean a short temper or augmentative, and definitely not a controlling type.

More that they had some difficultly expressing themselves for whatever reason but have over come that with shear determination even if that men t them made a few bad choices a long the way.

There is a number of possibilities that fit this scenario so 'volatile' is only one of them.

Besides I am sort at the mercy of what I'm attracted to at the end of the day. I don't really see it a somebody that would be volatile towards me ideally more that they could regress or hurt me without meaning to but are trying. Maybe I should have been a bit clearer.

gwenevyn - Assertive is good and it needn't imply volatility, but not assertiveness for assertiveness sake, they can have things that they find difficult like we all do. However having nothing much to say on something they claim to be passionate about, well it doesn't really sit right with me however assertive they are.

I have to ask where did you get the scrabbled egg idea? Was it the first thing that popped into your head? I like it.

On a serious note if they were likely to have a meltdown if disturbed their routine, which is pretty common with Aspies, I would try to respect that and work around it if possible if I liked them enough. it is a small price to pay. I like cooking but for a long time I found it impossible to cook with anyone in the room. Quite often I need to be on my own to concentrate.