How do you experience love?

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I don't really feel emotions the way other people do I think. I've been with my gf for almost a year. I don't love her, but I don't love anyone (never loved my folks or anyone in my family). I guess I don't feel that emotion. I also don't feel loneliness. I've never felt lonely a day in my life. I not sure if I ever miss anyone either. But I'm not sure what that word really means.

I care about my gf. I do a lot for her that I don't do for other people, even my best friend. But I don't really seem to get attached to people. I never feel connected. Ever. I also have no empathy and very little sympathy for others.

I have a very limited emotional range I think. Anyone want to describe what they think of love?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_p ... y_disorder

You'll probably find this description of you accurate.

Yep, but my shrink and a therapist that works with people with personality disorders said I was not schizoid (which is why I actually went to a shrink in the first place). I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Ever. I've been in emotional pain before and don't want to inflict it on anyone. Just that makes me not a schizoid. But I do have all the criteria. Another reason why the DSM is not a good source to diagnose yourself from.

To be honest I figure it has something to do with the amount of time I want to spend with them. If I want to be around them at all I must love them. The more I want to be around them the more I love them.

While I don't think I feel love like a NT person, this definition allows me to express love in an honest manner.

So, when I say I love someone, I'm really saying I enjoy the time we spend together. Which equals the same thing in my eyes, and keeps everyone happy.

its like a bubble trying to escape me. A wam fluttery kind of feeling (im not shore if its buttrflys, am i just nervouse?)

On the contrary, I feel as though I have powerful emotions, even more powerful than those of the average human. I merely have to expend a great deal of mental effort to suppress them entirely so that said emotions do not cause damage to myself or others (Think vulcan for the closest analogue...)

The worst part is that I know from past experience that if I let my emotions go, like what so many people who think I am emotionless suggest me to do, I will cause damage. As a middle schooler, the slightest provocation would send me into a rage. I've been suspended from school and have even caused another to be hospitalized because I couldn't control my emotions. Now that I am an adult, I have to be even more careful, as assault charges are a real threat to me now.

As for the loneliness factor, I know for a fact that I am lonely, but that stems from the fact that I can't get a girlfriend (which is due both to my aspergers and said suppression of emotions making any potential woman thinking that I am distancing myself from her)

I cant figure out love either, ive been with my nt bf for almost 2 yrs and still havent said those words to him, i do care bout him very much, but love is soo hard to do. I think love is when all you want to do is be with that person, when you get that warm feeling inside of you when you see or think of them, or when their smile makes your day. I'm not quite sure, thats my bf says anyways haha.

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Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated

Its not easy for any man in my life. For me to really care, I have to find it natural to place them above all of my interests. I remember an ex boyfriend saying to me that I loved a certain band more than I loved him, but to me it was like... well of course I do! We've only been going out a month!

I don't know if I've ever felt love as more than another conflicting obsession. I guess if I did, I would care intensely for that person, even more than I care for my close family and friends, and I would feel incredibly connected to them.