Share your tips for flirting, affection, etc : )

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I've been seeing a pattern with peoples' posts...issues in general with the opposite sex. I want to take this opportunity to open up some discussion about what tips people have and what has worked for them in creating and maintaining successful relationships.

Okay here it goes. I just recently saw a post about someone who was having problems with a beginning relationship, among many others. Important thing to keep in mind is that, depending on the person, it may have been awhile since, or been the first time, you've had a relationship. This is not an advantage!! ! Take a step back, and assess your actions up to this point. They are oftentimes tainted by your loneliness and severe need for companionship. If you are with someone, or you have an interest in someone, BE COOL. Rather than expressing all of your emotions at once, telling all of your secrets, and smothering the person, try this simple exercise: If you are a man, look into your partner's eyes and with a straight face (THIS IS HARD...NO SMILING) say, "Wow, you are beautiful." Say it like you would say, "Wow, that's cool" about something you found interesting. Don't work yourself up about saying it right...she likes you, the rest is downhill.

Women, or at least NT women, constantly obsess about their looks. Questions constantly are flying through their heads, "do these shoes work for this outfit? do guys think I'm pretty?"...etc. Girls constantly need reassurance that you find them attractive, and not just attractive, but beautiful. Don't ever let them think that they are not. You find them beautiful, so you can honestly say that "it's crazy so-and-so said that about your looks"..."or he's an ^&*, don't even give it another thought."

Again, there's a fine line between telling someone how you feel and smothering them, so use this technique and others like it, sparingly...It is incredibly important that you do this.

That's all for now, maybe more later. So what are your peoples' tips/comments?

-Ozzy

Yep, that would definately make an impression. Good tip.

Warning: Complement on clothes or shoes first thing, and the reaction may be "Is he gay or something?" Once you've established a relationship with the person of course, then it's probably good to at least notice what they wear. I'm not NT, but chicks seem to get offended if you (Mr. Signifigant Other) don't notice their new clothes, hairdo, whatever.

I disagree with this tactic. It seems too staged; too much like a line. The best approach is to find a way to start a casual conversation.

I've being divorced for a year and a half, had one disastrous "relationship" (and I consider it a stretch to call it that) a year ago, and have been single ever since. I've had quite a few epiphanies in the last few months about things. The main problem most people here have is that they are too needy and it comes across when they're trying to make friends or meet the opposite sex.

Yeah, there are people out there who still won't want to be your friend or date you even if you're a happy person who doesn't come off as being needy. Not everyone is going to like you regardless of what you do. There are plenty who will want to though if you're a happy person. It's pretty much guaranteed though that if you're unhappy, the vast majority of people you meet will not want to be around you. The only exception to that will be other unhealthy people who will make you even more miserable.

I've never been so alone in my life as I have been this year. I lost most of my friends because of my ex, then I left my ex, and I have a non-existent relationship with my family. It sucks being alone (the holidays and my birthday have not been fun), but I'm starting to think it's been the most beneficial experience of my life. I'm learning to truly be happy alone. Sure, I want to make some more friends and it would be nice to eventually find the right guy, but that's not going to happen until I'm happy with my life the way it is now.

When you're happy, you don't come across as needy. People are attracted to people who are happy with their lives. So, instead of trying to come up with strategies for flirting and meeting people, do what will actually work - work on yourself being happy. The rest will fall into place.

It's staged only if it's out of character, and you make it staged. The tactic wasn't the entirety of my point. The point is being concise when you open up to a person, rather than opening up a can of worms at the beginning.

I agree with your thoughts on unhappiness and being needy. It's easy to pick up on.

-Ozzy