Playing Hard to Get?

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I've heard of this before, but a.) I never thought it was true, and b.) I never had the opportunity to play the hard-to-get game, because no one wanted to play it with me, LOL.

But now I'm in a situation where a guy asked me out and because I kept contacting him to get together, he lost interest. He told me to call, and so I did, and we agreed to meet up. But then he had to cancel, and he asked me when I would next be free. So I told him, and he agreed to that date. But then he cancelled again. Excuse me?!

But note that he asked me AGAIN when I would next be free. If he wanted to blow me off, why didn't he just say, "I'll call you when I'm free," and then never call? Why go through the trouble of arranging another date on the spot? And yet again he cancels!

Things like this have been happening, and maybe I am being too forgiving and too available to him. That's what my friends have told me, anyway. But how do you play hard to get? It's so ridiculous!

Anyway, maybe he's being a jerk, or maybe he doesn't really like me that much. In that case, I can forget him.

But when he's with me, he seems interested (remembering all the details of every conversation we've had, even one whole year ago! and saying how good it is to see me again, numerous times over the course of a night, etc.). It's just that when we're apart, he feels free to blow me off...

Sorry for the long post. LOL. I hope this doesn't seem petty; I hate sounding like a "girl," if you know what I mean, because I have other priorities! But this is the one thing in my life I'm very confused about right now. I've been having trouble kick-starting this whole dating thing; I've never done it before! What do you think I should do, wait for him to call me next time, and pretend to be busy for a week or two? (That's the advice I've been getting, but I don't know!)

Do you believe in playing hard to get?

Maybe I do and maybe I don't.

Aside from bad jokes, I can't really help. Sorry.

Some people are just reeeeeeally flakey and it says nothing about their feelings for you. It sounds like that may be him? If you're not into game playing then I wouldn't bother to learn, but thats just me... I think you need to wait for him to contact you, but I wouldn't blow him off if he does.

I can sort of relate to this because the "hard to get" game has never made sense to me either. I guess it's for people who like to play social games. I'm pretty direct and honest, no matter how well I know someone. I like to think that if someone wants me to play hard to get and does not appreciate my honesty, then we would not be compatible.

I can't offer much insight into your story because I don't know the people involved. I always meet people through friends and have things start as friendships. I think that if it doesn't work out as a friendship, then it would not work out as a bf/gf relationship. I've never gone through the dating ritual, nor do I want to. I just don't think all that stuff is necessary. And I think that if you're true to yourself, people who like you for who you are will be attracted to you.

I guess I'm rambling. I hope some of it makes sense.

I guess it depends on how much you enjoy his company or feel like pursuing this.

Some people are just not good at reciprocating. Sometimes they just don't care too...it's a hard thing to figure out.

Personally, I'm horrible at reciprocation, I freeze ...honestly many relationships failed as a result with them thinking I didn't want to spend time with them I'm sure.

i am waiting for the girl who won't play any games ...

(underlying meaning: be yourself and wait for the right one)

Lots of fish in the sea. Don't call, and don't talk to him for more than a minute on the phone if he calls you. Two people can play that game.

playing "hard to get" is for pre-pubescent 12-year-old girls who've just started to "like-like" someone "more than a friend".


I have no respect for anyone who plays "hard to get".

If some one's hard to get, then what's the point of trying?

f**k...

I've given up on the whole dating scene in general.

Don't look at this as a game. Look at this as taking care of yourself and respecting yourself. Everyone deserves a second chance, but this guy has shown consistently that he doesn't respect you and really isn't that interested in you. He's inconsiderate and you deserve better.

very true. try to forget him and move on. I've always hated playing games and I've avoided guys who do that.

'Playing hard to get' is just an attempt to simulate the attractive effect which self-confidence, happiness and subsequently not-neediness bring.
It intrigues and interests potential partners because it emanates success.

When I view my behaviour and actions, I could say I'm "playing" hard to get albeit this is not done on purpose!
I just feel good in the situation that I am in now.
So don't always judge people if they're doing this, it's not always a cheap way to get a girl.

I understand playing hard to get...a lot of guys are jerks who see girls as expendable, and just want sex, so you gotta test that the guy actually cares. Right?

Well, I'm not one of those kinds of guys who just wants sex, and playing hard to get irritates the hell out of me. Nothing makes me LOSE interest in a girl than her pretending not to care. It makes me feel like she's manipulative, dishonest, and apathetic towards my feelings--and sometimes that's not the case at all, but it feels that way nonetheless.