Did I miss my chance?

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Context. I have long suspected that I have a touch of AS, as I enjoy/suffer many of the standard behavioral characteristics. Profesionally, I have fared very well in life, but socially, I remain a cripple. I've only been on about 2 dates in my life, and I am about 25.

Situation. There's a young woman I have been running into who I just now concluded is likely interested in me. About a month ago, I first met her at a crowded function and we exchanged small talk for about ten minutes. A few days later, I was walking home from work and spotted her walking somewhere as well. She noticed and recognized me (after only about 10 minutes of face time, I am lucky to recognize ANYONE) and she actually waited until I caught up so we could walk together and chat. We walked for about a mile, making not small talk but general get-to-know-you kind of "where did you grow up, where did you go to college" kind of chat. Then we parted, exchanging no more than "see ya", "good talking". And I, of course, ignorantly walked on, thinking about whatever the hell I was thinking about, and completely blind to the obvious. Only now, TODAY, over a MONTH later, did I finally figure out that entire episode was a PERFECT setup for me to ask her out, right there before we went our separate ways!

Continuing. Since that day, we have run into each other once or twice a week or so, just in work-related professional contexts. I think she is still interested, due to various cues such as sustained eye contact, smiles, initiation of conversation (by her with me), but I am so obsessed with my (challenging and highly rewarding) profession that I have always been my emotionless self and let the weeks fly by before putting 2 and 2 together and making this realization! As I said I can't naturally read the signals and the body language, instead I must manually observe them for careful analysis. I like this girl! Is it too late to ask her out, long since that opportunity over a month ago that was neatly packaged, gift wrapped, and served to me only to be overlooked and dismissed? Is it still not too late, or is it too late already? I suspect that if there is still time, I need to act as soon as possible.

Pile-on. This is slightly tangential but nonetheless relevant. Due to us being in related (but different) professions, as mentioned, we run across each other frequently but not at any reliable nor predictable interval. I haven't seen her anywhere in about a week, so I am thinking about using the ol' telephone. I do have her phone number, HOWEVER I did not get it from her... I got it in a very cheap way: from the recall roster (which everyone has, and it lists everyone's number, so it would be in no way stalkerish to have it). Is it legit to call her to ask her out all out of the blue like this, with her just getting a random phone call? Somehow I get the feeling that it would be significantly better to wait for another face to face encounter. But I would just as happily wait for the end of time. Normally I am highly confident and successful, with freon nerves, as I look serious danger in the face on an almost daily basis, but all of this confidence is somehow conspicuously absent when it comes time to talk to a woman if the discussion is anything other than professional.

Alas. In other lights, this situation could be almost funny. Certainly, I could easily write this off and continue to ignore women like I have been doing for years, but I think I would risk missing out on some good experiences.

Thus. I posit this before the Esteemed Assembly. What'dya all say?

As a female, may I please offer my 2 cents? Ok, I would not call her , since she may ask where you got her phone number..the next time you see her, and I know you will, say hello and ask how she is doing, and if she would like to get some coffee together sometime....The coffee talk enables her to get to know you at a mutual meeting spot,is casual, and can end whenever either of you decide it is time...Good luck to you, I'm sure she enjoys talking with you, and seeing you !

I second rushfanatic -- do the coffee thing, which is a lot more natural and effortless. If it goes well, THEN you can say "this was great. Would you like to go to dinner/out to a movie/to a an event?" I wouldn't say "would you like to go out sometime?" because that's too amorphous. Ask for a specific date to do a specific thing. This seems much more natural and as if the two of you share something in common.

Kris

Seconded.

Also, weeknight dates are best. Tell her you'd like to meet up, but you can't be out too late, you have to get up for work. Her weekdays are probably boring as hell, so she'd be glad to have something better to do than watch TV all night, alone. The less of a "big deal", the better. Making a huge fuss over her screams desperation. So does paying for dinner and movies.

"Pleasant change of pace vs huge deal that might ruin my weekend" is how it is in her head. For mental focus, pretend you're meeting up with your sister or a female cousin, a pleasant no-pressure interaction between two people who just happen to be of the opposite sex.

And: YOU are doing something, and you are inviting her to tag along, not asking for her attention.

It took a long time for me to get over my One-itis, that feeling that your whole life is riding on whether or not that particular woman likes you. Good looks are common. "Because she's pretty" is the worst basis for a relationship ever. All "pretty" means is that she's jumped the first hurdle.

That you bothered to write a lengthy post regarding this girl seems to indicate that you're interested in her. I'd go for it (and increase your dating history by 50% in the process). 25 is fairly young, but I would suggest, from my aged perspective, that now is the time for you to start looking for girls. By the time you're 30 (in a short 5 years), there will be substantially fewer peer-aged women available, and you'll likely be less open to people in general.

As others have intoned, don't call her. Run into her again, chat for a while, and then ask her out.

Update. Conveniently, problems like these tend to solve themselves. A good friend of mine is now going out with her, so the matter is settled. Onward I go!