She's attracted. What now? And approaching in general

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Keoren
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04 Dec 2007, 7:16 am

Basically, there is a girl I like and from her behaviour have slowly come to a conclusion she is also likely attracted to me. There's a chance she is not (one of the reasons why it's all so hard), but everything I've deduced supports this point of view. Example being today when her friend could've taken her home yet she decided to stay waiting for the bus, just with me left at the school. We spent big part of the time making airplanes out of paper. I can't think of any other reason for this. Well... anything that ends up being realistic.

I'm, in general, horrible at any kind of social approaching. I can come up with masterful plans yet when I should bring them out, I get no word coming out of my mouth or just babble something with the real life situation being much more stressing - and realistic - than the one I have constructed inside my head. Also, she seems to be shy and/or introverted herself, which doesn't make it much easier. Every single girl I've ever had anything going on with has for a big part had to initiate the moves. I'm not the straightforward hunter type (traps are more like my thing :roll:).

It's not that I don't have any kind of an idea of what I could do, but all those "do this", "do that" never seem to work. What happens usually goes by intuition (as in the goofy way of taking out the fun of everything [not making fun of everything, just to clarify]). The problem is to have it started. Do I just bluntly spit something out along my usual lines; "I had some free time between my lessons so I counted the amount of tiles in the hallway. By the way, you're cute."

Too bad she already knows I've done this so I can't use it. There were around 1600 or 2600 tiles. I can't recall it properly anymore. I do have the number somewhere though.


I'd especially like to hear stories from aspies who've been in a similar situation. Yes, I'm looking for some hints in this case, but I'm also interested in just hearing the ways an aspie gets close to another person. It usually seems to have been something one could consider unusual.
Some, I heard, got together by sitting next to each other in a class with the other one drawing an animal, also drawing different kinds of threats directed towards it and the other had to through drawing make up ways to protect it.

(Fast search didn't result in finding a similar thread in existence.)



alei
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04 Dec 2007, 7:44 am

I leave little gifts in the oddest of places. Lindor's in coat pockets, sticky notes inside books, little things that I know will get thier attention and make them smile. It lets me show the way I feel without coming right out and saying it which I find hard to do on the spot.


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Ozzy
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04 Dec 2007, 12:48 pm

I myself have also been attracted to cute, introverted and/or socially *challenged* girls. Guess it's easy to connect with them. That is until you try to make the connection lol. They are tough to read, but absolutely adorable. I remember when I was first "coming out of my shell" and interacting with girls (at 16 lol) my defense mechanism for my nervousness was cockiness. Wheeew, that went over poorly; talk about counter-productive...anyway I was/am the type to be approached rather than doing the approaching, and I know it's not just me.

My advise to you is to be confident, but not cocky<----very hard to do. I'm assuming that you are still acting shy around her and she likes that(that is innocent flirting, cherish it while it lasts : ) ). Go about opening up to her slowly. Don't be overly trusting; in the heat of a good conversation you may feel like spilling your guts out because of this great connection to her, DON'T. That's just my point of view. During warm conversation let out little secrets or "isms" about yourself, it really keeps the momentum of the conversation going, but keep it funny if you can. If you do this you'll probably see the same in return (maybe with a little prodding), which helps to get to know the other person and keep the conversation going. If you feel a little funny carrying on a conversation with her in public, try online a few times, but don't get use to it.

Make eye contact as much as you can without forcing yourself.

Anyway, as for your predicament, wait it out a little more. Make sure these fortunate coincidences continue to happen, but continue to show interest. Get her to feel comfortable around you, this can take a little time, especially if she's more introverted. Short of finding out through the grapevine how she feels, you don't know for sure yet. People may tell you to "just tell her" or "just ask her." Do what makes you feel comfortable, that is what counts, and that is a quick, easy way of avoiding disaster and disappointment. You will always be who you are, so do what works for you.

Just my two cents.

-Ozzy



azsxdc
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08 Dec 2007, 9:17 am

Wow, I am in a very similar situation to you Ozzy, maybe not as far, but still.
I'm in love with a girl who judging by various signs appears to like me too. I can't be certain, but it's good to have hope. I'm still in the early stages of the relationship!
I will, breaking out of my cycle of shyness, talk to her whenever I can, and sometimes she'll come up to me and start talking too. I try to keep track of who started the conversation last time, so I can do my bit too, lol.
Sometimes she'll just sit next to or near me, say hi while passing or whatnot. It's a great feeling that she might just like me like I like her. (I said "like" 3 times in 5 words...)
I don't have any tips, because you've progressed further than I have. lol. But I wish you the best of luck! :)


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Keoren
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08 Dec 2007, 10:15 am

alei wrote:
I leave little gifts in the oddest of places. Lindor's in coat pockets, sticky notes inside books, little things that I know will get thier attention and make them smile. It lets me show the way I feel without coming right out and saying it which I find hard to do on the spot.


That sounds actually quite cute.

Meh, this Friday I just ended up accidently blurting it out after the final lesson without really even thinking. My ride was already waiting so the results are to be seen on Monday. I have an annoying tendency to experience panic attacks (and get reminders of having a somewhat naive imagination) in this kind of situations so I'm just trying to think of coping methods. I'm almost regretting everything now. :roll:



Keoren
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10 Dec 2007, 4:59 am

Okay, so I misinterpreted body language and behaviour, once again. Life goes on and all that crap.



gwenevyn
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10 Dec 2007, 2:12 pm

Sorry it didn't work out... but I've got to say I really admire how you took reponsibility (rather than blaming or hating the girl) and decided to move on.


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