deep-techno wrote:
I have decided that I don't want to get married when I'm older, or even have a girlfriend. I am only a teen in this sense but I'm already thinking about my independent life in years to come. I have decided that I don't want a partner because it would be too much of a compromise of my free time, money, interests and well-being. It would be too stressful raising a family of neurotypicals.
When I discuss this with my parents, they rather annoyingly say that I can be open-minded and things may change. However, I am certain that I don't want a girlfriend AT ALL. My parents say that I might meet a nice girl, but I just don't want to. That's that. I'd just like to live by myself, but I sometimes feel that my parents (and by brother to an extent) are trying to convert me to this stereotypical nucleated family lifetime. I don't want that.
I need some reassurance. What is it like being single and choosing to do so? Is it peaceful? Am I making a perfectly valid choice? I would prefer so, because I don't want to change my attitudes because they're not 'normal'.
I remember I used to feel a lot like this - I have since modified but not totally changed my opinions. I have always felt that there's something deeply f****d up about wanting to have a girlfriend/boyfriend, marry them, have children - just for the sake of it. When I think of wanting to do the first two things, (no maternal instincts yet!), there is always a specific person that I particularly want to be with. Only meeting someone special to me can make me want to have a relationship - wanting one just for the sake of being in a relationship is a bit weird.
Your choice is a perfectly valid one if it makes you happy - its hardly anyone else's business. I would suggest that you might feel very lonely, but maybe you feel that would be preferable to the stress of a relationship.