I am looking for.....

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Romance and love.... I think after communicating with someone for a while, I might just be ready to meet this person, but I am a little bit afraid, too, as I don't handle first meetings well, and if it doesn't work out, i am afraid I would be incredibly uncomfortable. I am also afraid that he would be uncomfortable. The situation might present itself to where I could possibly meet this preson, but i am really nervous, and I have been putting it off for a while. I am also a little bit afraid that I might be getting into a situation that has the potential to be awkward, and the fear that i might be in danger is at the back of my mind, although, I think this man is nice and not harmful. This man is aspie, too. What do you aspie men think about how i feel? I am a seriously poor college student, and this fellow said he would take care of things for me. Should I let him do that? what if I travel and get stuck there, because it didn't work out?

He will take care of things for you? What? Red flag! Red flag!
He should come see you in a public place of your choosing and you never reveal where you live. You also bring a friend and a brother or two. Maybe even your dad. And you don't go anywhere with him until you have known him for months and googled him and had a police friend check his record and his family.

The fear is of internet predators who pay your ticket to come out to them - once you're there and can't get back, they have you trapped and become a sex-trade slave, abused in the most horrific ways.

Meet a nice LOCAL aspie. In a public place.

All these are valid points, and I would add one more.

A while back I met someone online who lived in another state. At the time I did not know I was Aspie, and she was most definitely NT. We got to talking, one thing led to another, so on, so on, and I ended up flying out to meet her.

It was a freakin' disaster! ! People can be one way over the phone and online, and totally different in person. Even other Aspies.

All of your fears about how this first meeting might turn out are valid. If it goes well, great. Still much room for caution until things go well, in person, over a prolonged period of time. If things don't go well, it would be best if you were not in a position to be stuck there.

Whatever you do, do not make this trip on his dime unless you have your own way back. And I don't know what kind of distance we're talking about here, but if it involves an overnight stay, have your own place to stay, not with him.

Now I am really more nervous. I don't want to think the worst, but I am autistic, so I have a hard time reading the situation. I don't get the impression that I would be in danger, but my friends tell me not to do it, for the internet crime sex slave reason. I probebly shouldn't have posted about this, has any one met like that, and had it work out for the best?

This is why I think internet dating is a crock...

A very very few have. Just make sure he does the traveling and you have people with you in a public place and a planned activity like cosmic golf (again with a group date) with a scheduled end, and you might have a blast.

It does seem creepy to me. If you decide to do it, then I hope that everyone's worst fears don't come true.

Well I've met a lot of nice people on line. I met my 2nd ex husband on line.

However, meet in a public place, don't go anywhere private. Tell someone where and who you will be with. Also have them call you about 2 hours in just in case you don't want to stay with him anymore, you can fake an emergency.

Have a planned activity.
No secluded walks anywhere.

Feel him out.

Well, guys... she is 35 years old. I don't think she needs to bring her dad.

Spirited, what stands out to me here is that you say that you don't have a bad feeling about this man, it's just that you've been listening to horror stories. I've met many people from the net communities I've been involved with, over the years. Only one of these people was at all creepy, and even he was pretty harmless. They all were the people they said they were. I met them in public places at first, but as I realized that I could count on my impressions of people I'd come to know over a long period of time, I didn't take those same precautions with everyone.

I think you should trust in your own impressions and in the opinions of the people who know your boyfriend. Every situation is unique. If you've known this guy for a while and you know where he works, where he lives, and he has always been good to you, I personally don't see a reason to be overly cautious. If you know him on a message board, you can get a good feel for his character by reading the posts he made before he was involved with you and comparing them with how he is now. There should be some minor changes, but mostly what you should see (in a good man) is that his basic personality is consistent.

As aspies, sometimes our fears get in the way of what would otherwise be a very happy occasion.

Whoops, I missed the 35 yr old part. I don't know why I thought she was late teens, early twenties.

Well, it's true that some successes CAN definitely happen - a friend of mine married his email girlfriend.

Of course, he was set up by someone he knew and they met in the safety of friend/family homes, or public.

I shouldn't encourage axing the whole thing..... but be sure to go in with both eyes open, and enough money to be able to get away if need be.