trouble with public flirting

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I recently had an encounter with an attractive lady at a coffee/eatery a few days ago and I had the distinct feeling she was flirting. Although I know how to flirt I find it extremely difficult sometimes and awkard unless I am completely alone with the person or very distant from others. She made obvious statements about staring into my eyes as well as wanting me to come and talk to her while eating my lunch. Although I know theres the possibility that she was only doing this for business I had a sense she was generally into my vibe. The place got kind of busy and I hindered to talk more from the thought of saying something stupid publicly or odd. Either way we shook hands as I left and as I contemplated asking for her number but I decided not to because I felt anxious. Anyway I just felt like saying that to everyone as well as ask if anyone has this problem
around people

Personally I cant flirt period, in public or private, I dont know how, hate the akwardness and simply cannot respond appropriatly when the girl initiates it. I must say however I never heard of a shake of the hands when attempting to flirt, but I suppose its a step closer to doing it right then I ever have gotton.

Good luck!

thanks...i try not to think too much...thats how i can bare to flirt when i do...

Even now, I usually can't tell that a man is flirting with me unless he is very very obvious about it. Then I usually get embarrassed and say something silly.

I don't understand flirting very well. A guy will try to flirt by saying something he thinks is amusing or funny and witty.. and I just won't get it... he might as well be speaking Chinese if it's some type of really witty thing said quickly... I'll just try to make a half-smile and probably look really uncomfortable.. Then, sometimes, the person that was trying to flirt with me will take that as utter reject and get very angry with me... hostile even.... I'm fairly pretty, so they assume I'm this arrogant b***h I guess..

If I see a personal ad that says something like "I enjoy witty dinner conversation".. I'll never answer THAT ad... sorry....

Bizmarck,

its quite possible she could have been flirting with you, if experience something similar to that situation again in the future, ask her if she is busy at the moment. If she says no im not, trying asking her if she would like to go for a walk. This way it is just the two of you, your not in a crowded coffee shop. Try to get her into a public place that is more comfortable for you. However, if she says no to the walk, she's not interested and move on. Women like confidence which i know is hard for aspies, but if you feel more confident in less crowded places try to get into that natural enviroment.

I can flirt but its very childish flirting. I once, at the age of 23, pushed a girl i liked into the snow when we were walking up a trail together. Very similar to when a girl pushed me to the ground in grade six, then a couple days later she came to talk to me.
I admit i have always been pretty social as i played a lot of sports as a kid and have made many acquitances over the years but still seem to be oblivious to the more subtle forms of flirting.
The following are examples of possible flirting ive learned over the years.
If i girl says they miss you, there flirting with you, don't try to make some sarcastic comment because you don't understand why they said it. I didn't find this one out into it was already too late.
If you happen to be alone with a girl and they ask you what your thinking, don't say nothing because your scared the girl is going to snap at you for telling the truth. Lean in close to them, tell them how beautiful they look or give them any other compliment you can think of, then kiss them.

Oh hell...

When I saw this header I thought someone had been reading my mail, or probing my mind...

I can flirt...in fact, in recent years, since I became "sexually inactive" I have elevated it to a performing art...and found some very worthy partners to assist me in this...

The trouble is I never have a clue where to go with it afterwards, or how I am supposed to interpret the responses in real terms. You would think underestimation is safe...but it's not always accurate...

...and the though of even TRYING to follow through on the flirting terrifies me, I am petrified of taking the wrong things seriously and making a monumental fool of myself, or making someone feel rejected that I don't even want to reject...so I usually have to opt for avoiding all involved until it is safely forgotten.

Flirting is a very dangerous game for Aspies to play...but it is fun...

M

i only seem to be able to flirt when i dont relise i am, iv also had the ocasional problem with a girl in public, i once had a girl follow me round a cd store trying to get my attention for what must have been at least 15 minutes and i had no idea, and it was really obvious too she kept standing really close to me and reaching for cd's near me and all id do was take a polite step back and continue looking at the cd in my hand, my dad later informed me to what was happening and i got really annoyed becouse she was pretty cute too

Observation im curious about!

Does anybody find it easier, when in social situations and observing other peoples behaviour, to recongize if someone is flirting with somebody else. For example, you happen to be hanging out with a brother or sister and there talking to a cashier and the cashier is flirting with them and your brother or sister seems oblivious to the fact, but your able to pick up on it and point it out to them later. Very similar to the way TheSmilingGoat's Dad was able to pick up on the subtle form of flirting.
Yet when we experience subtle flirting first hand, we seem oblivious to it. How is it that we can reconigze when its happening to somebody else, but not ourselves?

If you think somebody is flirting with you and you aren't sure or don't know how to respond back, usually just being friendly is a good substitute. Even the smoothest of us sometimes are at a loss for something witty to say. If you'd like to flirt but can't, just be nice and friendly, it works just as well.

And smile!