Staying "in love"

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I have kind of a weird problem when it comes to relationships; it's hard for me to retain my affection for someone. The first time I dated, even though I liked the girl, I wanted out as soon as she said "yes." No kidding, I hated it. I have someone else I like, but it's very easy for me to lose track of even a slight infatuation at times, especially when I get to work on something and become very busy. I used to suppress my feeligns for the purpose of getting through high school, and for various other reasons, but I'm having a hard time letting myself recall feelings now. How do you really deal with this? I could like someone, but I can also lose that ecstasy easily too. Help?

Do relationships make you claustrophobic? Because I always find that. You probably need someone who is fine to keep things casual to start with, and gives you lots of space, makes you feel like its ok for you to concentrate on your other interests sometimes?

eat a lot of chocolates.

perhaps you only want that which you cannot have. that would explain the loss of affection after she says yes. I don't know how to help you, though.

Perhaps you simply need time to warm up to the notion of yourself actually being in a romantic relationship. Sarahstilettos could be on to something: you just need someone who will be OK with seeing each other just once a week and talking a few times a week, at least early on in the relationship. Only in my opinion, it's not so much the girl that's "bothering" you, but the relationship itself. It seems like you haven't had a lot of relationship experience, so when a relationship comes along, it's almost a psychological shock. As a result, your mind has difficulty processing it, so you find yourself wanting to get out.

Give yourself enough time, at least a month. Remember that a relationship is not an obligation; if you still find yourself wanting to get out, just calmly tell the girl something like this: "a long-term relationship is not what I'm looking for right now, and I don't feel right wasting your time". After one month, you'll get used to the notion of being in a relationship, and possibly even enjoy it.

Love isn't easy.

I just recently had to make the right decision, with my ex not to date her anymore.....she was going to give me a third and final chance, and if I screwed up, she'd hate me forever.

we talked Sunday night late/Monday morning early, and I basically said that it just wasn't possible, mainly because I knew that at some point I was going to hurt her. I do love her very much, but I had to make the right decision, not one based on emotions. of course she asked me if there was another girl. Right. I told her the truth that there wasn't.

I have my reasons for originally dumping, wanting to get back with her, was because I thought it could work, mainly because I thought I could take her with me when I joined CPT(anyone heard of them??) but I realized that she just can't be part of my life. We've known each other since first grade, and we had a thing for each other in 8th, but she left when I sorta became a jerk to her. we reconnected this past summer and dated for about four months.

anyhow. long distance and her trust issues were the other issue, so I understand what you're going through bro.

my advice, don't seek out relationships, let them seek you out.

Been there. The problem for me was always feeling suffocated. The guys I dated when I was in my teens, the liked me and I liked them. The problem was that they wanted to see me every single day and always hold my hand when we were together, things like that. I wanted them, but I also wanted my space...and space always won. I married when I was not yet out of my teens. He was a great guy for the most part, but he was far more needy than I had patience for. When we'd be on the couch watching a movie he would ask why I was so far away from him. If we weren't cuddling, it wasn't good enough. Similarly, when I needed to study for hours in college, he wasn't happy with that either. Eventually I left. I felt smothered. The more he pushed, the more I withdrew...and the more I withdrew, the more he pushed. You get the idea. Our marriage lasted five years, in total.

Now, I am married again. I could never understand what it was that kept me in this relationship (until we found out we're both aspies), especially since this guy is actually a bit too distant for ME sometimes lol! But that's just it, I'm always wanting more. For me, that's a good thing. When I'm saturated, I tend to leave rather quickly. We've been together 7 years now and I still wouldn't trade him.

I think it's really a matter of finding your best match. No one is perfect, but you can find that someone who fits best with you. Someone you won't "fall out of love" with, so to speak

I think it helps to fall in love over and over again with the same person. Also, a short memory is good........