I need advice

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My psychiatrist give me some recommendations. He said: you have to look people with your hobbies. So I looked for people in local forums (jazz, movies, anime, etc.). I found a forum located in my city. So I contacted some people and I invited them to my house because I want to create an anime research group.
Five people went to my home. And there was a very pretty girl. I didn´t have expectations. I talked with these persons and my doctor was right. We understood each other perfectly. This girl was laughing many times after some jokes made by me. After some talking, we watched the first movie of a trilogy. And she was very interested in the names of the robots.
We agreed to keep watching the other two movies.
She is really beautiful and she is now interested in mechas.
But I´m worried because the last time with a girl, It was very rushed so I ruined the whole thing.
I´m going to travel to a foreign country (in one month) an I was thinking in buying mangas(japanese comic books) and I want to give them to her as present.
Do you need some advice?
Thanks

What are you looking for? Do you just want to be friends with the girl? Do you want to start a short term relationship with her?

If your looking to be just friends with her, i see nothing wrong with buying her a gift or two with the intention of not expecting anything in return, but i would wait until you have established a better and longer friendship with her. Wait a couple months before giving her a gift, it might scare her off. Reassure her, its just a friendly gesture between two people. Be honest with her that its a gift and there are no strings attached, as your only looking for friendship.

If you are looking for a short term relationship you are moving to fast and i would hold off on the gift until you've been dating for a while. If you haven't asked her out already i would do that first.

The key point is to establish a better friendship or relationship with her first then get her a gift and be honest about your intentions for giving her the gift.

Id still buy the comics while in Japan, because its hard to say if you will make it back someday, just don't give them to her until you've established a better friendship or relationship. If the relationship or friendship fails before you have a chance to give her the gifts, no big deal. Just keep the comics of interest and move on.

I hope this helps.

Last edited by dalhousie12 on 24 Dec 2007, 1:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I want a relationship with her. But you are right, I need to wait some time without expectations.
Thanks.

Glad i could help and best of luck to you

Don't make too big a deal about it, just give her a few of them and I'm sure she will love them.
I don't think a gift like that is coming on too strongly, especially if its from a trip to a forgein country that you are both obviously intrested in.
If its just a small, relitively inexpensive gift like comics, I think it will show that you care about her, but not necesarily as a girlfriend of anything like that, its just a sweet, friendly gesture.

On a side note:
Nice work man, you invited 5 unknown people to your house, you made a fangroup and now you're making moves on a nice girl?!

On topic:
If i were you, I'd go for you, just take it very slowly.
If you do it all step by step, you'll feel a lot more comfortable and it will be way easier to notice issues and work on them.
Just make sure you do it in the way how you pictured your previous relationship should have gone.

Well, my doctor was impressed when I told about the fangroup.
I´m afraid about the future of this new group. As usual, I know people with my hobbies and then they go away. I was thinking on this meeting and I was talking about animation all the time. She barely spoken (althought she laughed many times). I´m sure I was wrong. I want to convocate these people as soon as possible but I don´t know how frequent must be.
I said something special to her just once. We were watching DVDs. It was 12:15 am and she said: I have a headache. She didn´t know about my profession (I´m a brand new physician). So I went to the first floor and I looked for a pill. I give the pill to her and I said: you are my first patient (it´s true, I´m taking vacations right now).

Good job. I'm not sure about your question though.

She seems shy but interested in you if you are watching videos together at 12:15am. Try to learn more about her or ask her out.

It was a mistake. It must say: Do you have any advice?

I agree. Watching videos together at that time of the night, she must be at least a tad bit interested.

how long before you come back from your trip?

I´ll came back on January 29th.
Maybe she was in my house at that time because the dvd were lenghty. In fact we finished the last DVD at 1:00.
There were 2 strange attitudes:
1. Many laughes. I´m not a clown, dude. Probably, I´m not familiar with laughing because I´m very lonely.
2. She asked about mecha. For example: How is called that robot? She was very into, beceause it was a slightly different model. An she asked about other mecha because it was painted red. She´s a newbie about robots but she demonstrated interest.

She might be laughing because shes nervous. Which is goo dbecause she wouldnt be nervous if she didnt care.
She might be asking about the mechs because she wanted to get you talking about something you're into. Like me asking a girl about her pet. I'm not as interested in the pet as I am her talking to me.

She sent an e-mail . She wants to watch the second movie of the trilogy!! !