Tactics

Post Reply New Topic

What tactics have you found are most likely to increase attraction coming from women?

One thing I've noticed is that women are more likely to be attracted to you if you talk to them just a little bit and not too regularly. It may seem to make sense that, if you're attracted to someone, you're going to want to spend more time with them; but this actually turns off most women. Never be too ready with a helping hand (or at best, only intermittently). These rules probably do not apply in an on-going relationship.

This is really the only major behavioral pattern I've noticed about most women regarding attraction.

What other tactics have you guys discovered?

I can turn us off, if you come accross as needy or desperate, and sometimes that's just how it looks to us.
And someone you just met calling every day, ore even multiple times a day? Oh no, what if you're the stalker type? How much trouble could this lead to?

I think in general women want to take it slowly and carefully. If you seem way too attached early on, it's a bit scary. It starts the "what if" chain reaction.
You have to give us time to get comfortable with you and analize how we feel (or don't feel) about you.

Be cool, be confident, but don't be too pushy.

sometimes it's more of a situation where they've already picked you... I'm obsequiously nice (is that a word?), and just try to treat women like anyone else.

Given I have neither male nor female friends, I need special strategies to actively cause women to be attracted to me. You have to understand I haven't even so much as talked to a woman roughly my age in person for many many months.

WRONG! If I like someone, I want them to talk to me as much as possible, or I'll get paranoid and think that maybe they're ignoring me and don't like me after all, and I'll be sad. Acting too distant is much more of a turn off than anything else. Why would anyone want a guy who doesn't even want to talk to them or spend any time with them?

I am most comfortable around men who treat me like a person, and aren't using totally transparent and see-through tactics on me.

I know you don't mean any harm, but I think most women would prefer to just be spoken to and befriended, rather than having shiny things dangled in front of them as if they were an ostrich, or psychological tactics used on them as if they were a child needing to be coerced into eating vegetables. Every person is different - some might think you're not interested if you don't talk to them every day, others might think you're clingy if you talk to them too much. That's the hard part about socializing - you never know what's going to make each person like you.

But honestly, us women are not anywhere near as frightening or complex as you all seem to think we are.

Could you explain this "what if" chain reaction you're talking about?
Thank you

Same here,does anyone have any good aspie to NT pick up lines?

I think the ladies down at Starbucks are getting tired of the "So,do you come here often?" pick up line.

You don't need special strategies. You need a way to make friends... which is to say, a way to interact socially with the same group of people, repeatedly, so you can get to know them (and vice versa).

Looking at your profile, I see that several of your listed interests could provide an entry point. You like writing? Join a writer's group. Sketching? Take an art class. Politics? Volunteer for your preferred cause/candidate. One way or another, you need to expand your social circle. And focus on gradually getting to know the women you meet, not on trying to attract them. Desperation is never attractive -- which is probably why it doesn't work out when you talk "too much" to a woman you're attracted to.

I'm a guy, but ironically, I was on the receiving end of the "calling multiple times a day" situation. Well, it was "texting multiple times a day", to be exact. One night, I met this girl in a club (yes, you read that correctly). We got along nicely that night, and before going home, exchanged phone numbers. The very next day, she texted me three times, and each time, expected me to text her back right away, even when I told her I was driving. Going against my best judgment, I scheduled a date with her. Afterwards, she kept texting me up to five times a day, sometimes in the middle of the night. (The record was about ten times.) Although she seemed nice enough to date, I had to end things with her, due to the sheer frustration from being bombarded with text messages.

At the end of that month, I ended up going over my pre-paid limit. My friends joked about me sending her the phone bill, although I cringed at the thought of making any more contact with her. So this goes to show you: women aren't the only ones turned off by extreme desperation.

@Aspie1

I know some NT people with relationships and text messaging is quite popular, 10 times a day is not an exception. But I would not like it, most of the daytime is for work, evening time is for personal things.

you may find it hard to believe, but I think that women can be just as hesitant (or even scared) about meeting guys for the first time. I know it's crazy, but that's why I think so many dance songs at clubs where the woman's singing are in a minor key (sounds like someone wasn't trying to dance enough...

For the most part they probably want what you want, just different quantities. All women are different, so what works with one doesn't always work with another. Pay attention, see if they're attracted to you. I think that many want someone who's fun, a little humorous, sweet (after a while, some of the youngun's are looking for a 'bad boy'...until they realize that bad boys are called that for a reason..., interesting, strong emotionally, dependable, reliable (wait, are they looking for a guy, or a boy scount?.. in short, a lot of the things I don't have...

You can make friends with women (I have several), and they can help explain what they think you can work on. Take it slow and easy, show you're interested, just not obsessive.

Sure AdrianB. It's just the crap that strats going through your head....
What if he really likes me?
What if I decide I don't like him?
What if he just wants sex?
What if I break his heart?
What if he'll break mine?
What if he becomes a stalker?

It goes on and on, just everything that might be a problem. You don't worry too much until it starts looking serious. I think it's best to not get (or seem) too serious until you know each other a bit better. Then you worry a lot less.

Of course, we can't call me "normal", so maybe everybody doesn't work this way.
I always hated dating.

I had that, only in a different stage of the relationship (we were about a week or two together).
I just call it 'severely stressing out on things your head produces to prepare you for the future'.

Do you happen to know a solution to it? (Minus the 'taking it slow')

You apparently don't understand the male physiology. When men lack a relationship, they develop physical urges, and this leads to a great deal of sexual frustration. This leads to them wanting a way to get faster results because the people who just m*****bate have no idea what they're talking about. I do want that emotional connection, too, but obviously the physical urges are more urgent,