I'm very abusive when people don't understand my condition

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I don't know if I'll ever be able to be with a woman for very long, since I know she won't understand when I rage that I'm just overwhelmed or angry that I'm not being understood. I get very verbally abusive sometimes, and it's hard to focus enough to calm down when my meds aren't working (I'm transitioning, and I'm still on bad meds). I say horrible, horrible things and scream at the top of my lungs. I believe I got this trait from my dad, who used to scream as loud as he could suddenly, without warning, and then hit me on my head when I didn't do something right. My mom divorced him before I was born, and she and I believe he has ASD as well. She says I act like my father sometimes, and I know that if I can't treat my mom right I certainly couldn't be with a woman. I want nothing more than to show someone my love, but I feel that I wouldn't be a good enough suiter for anyone in my current condition.

Is it common for adult Aspies to rage? I'm currently on a low dose of Risperdal and Prozac, and neither handle the rather huge anxiety I suffer every second, not to mention the depression that's seemingly neverending.

I know about rage.
when I would drink I would stalk out on the highway and stand there like Red Sonja with my hand up to stop the cars.

They would stop alright, stop and scream at me for being a stupid %$@^$# idiot for being in the road, honk continuously past me as they swerved and dodged other cars to get out of my way. Why I was not hit I will never know.

I did that because when I raged at people they would beat me pretty badly and leave me on the side of the street. This way perhaps someone would put me out of my misery.

I wish better for you, dear.

Merle

Occasionally I experience extreme frustration due to being misunderstood. It helps tremendously that people understand that I often appear angry when in fact it's just frustration. People don't take frustration personally like they do anger.

I just got misunderstood, now at christmas eve. I'm not mad, but frustrated. I usually don't yell at people when it happens, but I feel really down. So I left the others to be in my room just to calm down and don't break anyones spirit.

I hope your doctors aren't just giving you meds without some therapy or anger management classes. Maybe you could ask them about it?

I've been searching for therapy, but the doctors are strictly med-pushers. I'm on bad drugs at the moment, in fact all year has been hell.

had a bf who would just start crying when things ere wrong... and i know it was cause he felt he didnt understand why i was always feeling wronged... but just seeing him cry sent me off and i just wanted to scream at him... cause i never felt like i was being too outlandish... so i usually just wound up leaving and just conceding my points cause they would never be understood. i eventually left him cause i knew he would be happier.

I only get that angry at my parents but I am able to keep myself under control.

Anger management counseling is a good idea. Controlling that is often a separate issue from having AS. Hope the new meds work properly. I went to a family counseling place, but a psychologist or psychiatrist would work, also.

My dad raged, and so do I, but not as much as I used to. I'm also alone because I don't want to rage at someone close to me. If I find a woman I can't walk away from, I'll tell her about my AS and I'll see a psychiatrist about medication to control the anxiety.

vessel, I'm curious on something because I never had this sort of thing directly - don't take this question the wrong way. Where is your locus of control on this? Have you, in your past, made a habit of projecting blame over your AS and misunderstandings or do you usually do your best to own it and overcome it?

I would definetly get into anger management counseling as soon as possible. Ask your doctors, get onto them about it. Sometimes there are group workshops. They should have a list somewhere. The hospital/clinic should be able to give you info.

Sounds to me like you are just seeing a psychiatrist. All the do is prescirbe and they're not supposed to listen to any issues; they actually will refer you to a psychologist. The psychologist/therapist should be on your insurance plan.

But this, if you use it, could change your life and make you happier.