Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

I'm dating a girl now

Page 1 of 2 [ 32 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Space
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,082

05 Jan 2008, 4:03 pm

I asked out a girl and she said yes. I really like her. She is 20, good looking, doesn't seem to mind my weird sense of humor, doesn't drink or do drugs, and seems to really like me. I only asked her because we were hanging out on a platonic basis, and eventually she seemed to be saying over and over "I hate being single...I want a relationship..." I thought she meant in general but I guess she meant me (I didn't pick up on this). Then I said "I think we should go out" and told her I thought she was attractive etc. and she said yes and sounded really happy. I hope I don't f**k this up, I haven't dated a girl in years, and am pretty inexperienced altogether. Now you can congratulate me :)



Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,114
Location: Houston, Texas

05 Jan 2008, 4:06 pm

Congrats!

Tim


_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!


0_equals_true
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2007
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,038
Location: London

05 Jan 2008, 4:07 pm

Well done :D It is nice to know you can approach a relationship from the friends angle.



Space
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,082

05 Jan 2008, 4:13 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
Well done :D It is nice to know you can approach a relationship from the friends angle.

I didn't think this was possible myself. It is very confusing because I am always hearing that you can't be friends then date, or if you don't ask her out right away it will never happen. Very confusing.



kitschinator
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 16 Dec 2007
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 156

05 Jan 2008, 4:16 pm

Ignore what other people tell you about how relationships have to happen - there are no rules.

Oh and congrats!



0_equals_true
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2007
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,038
Location: London

05 Jan 2008, 4:27 pm

Space wrote:
0_equals_true wrote:
Well done :D It is nice to know you can approach a relationship from the friends angle.

I didn't think this was possible myself. It is very confusing because I am always hearing that you can't be friends then date, or if you don't ask her out right away it will never happen. Very confusing.

I think this must be false, because how common its it you hear about someone who has a crush on a friend? Even that it is reciprocated.

What I think is true is there is a possibility you might creep them out, if you don't approach well. If anything if there is trust there (which is rare in my case) why not?

My sister has known and worked with her boyfriend for a number years.



Eire
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 1 Oct 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 465
Location: California

05 Jan 2008, 4:44 pm

Yay! Congratulations. Glad to hear the friends first thing worked.



gbollard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,009
Location: Sydney, Australia

05 Jan 2008, 4:47 pm

Well done.

Don't f**k it up. :) :)

You probably should have a romantic discussion where you explain that you didn't know she was saying she was interested in you. Tell her that you need her to be more direct. Be nice/funny about it and she will.

Friends can become lovers. My wife and I were friends first... oh and we're still friends despite 10 years of marriage. :)


_________________
Gavin.
http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.com/


chinapig
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 114
Location: Stockport, South Manchester, UK

05 Jan 2008, 5:24 pm

Kongratulat!



Smelena
Cure Neurotypicals Now!
Cure Neurotypicals Now!

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2007
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,950
Location: Australia

05 Jan 2008, 6:06 pm

Congratulations!

Have fun!

Helen



sinsboldly
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon

05 Jan 2008, 6:19 pm

Space wrote:
I asked out a girl and she said yes. I really like her. She is 20, good looking, doesn't seem to mind my weird sense of humor, doesn't drink or do drugs, and seems to really like me. I only asked her because we were hanging out on a platonic basis, and eventually she seemed to be saying over and over "I hate being single...I want a relationship..." I thought she meant in general but I guess she meant me (I didn't pick up on this). Then I said "I think we should go out" and told her I thought she was attractive etc. and she said yes and sounded really happy. I hope I don't f**k this up, I haven't dated a girl in years, and am pretty inexperienced altogether. Now you can congratulate me :)


hey, Space? Congratulations!

I would suggest you rent the DVD "BIG" with Tom Hanks. The scenes where he 'learns about women' and how he learns what he is 'supposed' to know and how he deals with all the immature emotions that were caused by never have 'dated'.

Just thought it might be a good refresher .

all the best,

Merle



gwenevyn
l'esprit de l'escalier
l'esprit de l'escalier

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2007
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,443

05 Jan 2008, 6:22 pm

sinsboldly wrote:

I would suggest you rent the DVD "BIG" with Tom Hanks. The scenes where he 'learns about women' and how he learns what he is 'supposed' to know and how he deals with all the immature emotions that were caused by never have 'dated'.


Hey, I just watched that on TV today and found myself thinking about the similarities between aspies and a 13 year old in an adult body. Good call!


_________________
The machine does not isolate man from the great problems of nature but plunges him more deeply into them. -Antoine de Saint Exupéry


Brian003
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 10 Sep 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 402
Location: University of Michigan Ann Arbor

07 Jan 2008, 7:22 pm

Space wrote:
I asked out a girl and she said yes. I really like her. She is 20, good looking, doesn't seem to mind my weird sense of humor, doesn't drink or do drugs, and seems to really like me. I only asked her because we were hanging out on a platonic basis, and eventually she seemed to be saying over and over "I hate being single...I want a relationship..." I thought she meant in general but I guess she meant me (I didn't pick up on this). Then I said "I think we should go out" and told her I thought she was attractive etc. and she said yes and sounded really happy. I hope I don't f**k this up, I haven't dated a girl in years, and am pretty inexperienced altogether. Now you can congratulate me :)


Good Job!



Space
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,082

07 Jan 2008, 11:56 pm

Now the tough part is actually dating and trying to having a relationship. Things are going fine, but it seems like my AS is already giving me troubles. We've been hanging out/doing things every day, but she'll say things like "I never know what you're thinking," "You never flirt with me," and "You're so hard to read!".... :( .... I dunno how to change any of this. I try to smile, not be monotone, be playful, initiate physical contact etc. but I don't know if it is enough. Oh well, I will just keep trying and listening, and if things go south, c'est la vie... I just hate the idea that my AS could ruin a relationship. I know it has before, but I thought know that I am more mature and self-aware, I could minimize it better. I just hope it is enough.



gbollard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,009
Location: Sydney, Australia

08 Jan 2008, 12:10 am

Say... "teach me to flirt"

if nothing else, it could be fun.


_________________
Gavin.
http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.com/


Whisperer
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 13 Oct 2007
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 447

08 Jan 2008, 12:28 am

Congrats and good luck.