I would not date...

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actually, nevermind.

Last edited by Mw99 on 01 Jan 2008, 10:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Well, if I was a man, I wouldn't date me, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't date a man who would want to date me.

You've only listed bad points (and one of them I wouldn't see as a bad point, it gets tiring being with someone who does want to go out and have fun all the time), what about your good points? I don't know of anyone who is only made up of bad things.

Okay, Groucho Marx.
Funny how when I saw this topic on the "new" list, I knew you were the topic starter before I clicked on it!

I have all those problems and more but I wouldn't say I am a beta male. Try to be more confident and there will probably be women willing to date you if they can see that you are a kind person inside.

It sounds like you've already made up your mind that you're not ever going to be able to have a relationship. I hope someday you'll post that you were wrong and you met a wonderful girl.

You forgot #10: self pity.

You're not helping.

Someone check what Failure wrote as well? Isn't that a bit of an agrgrandizement against first said writer and like bad or something? I don't remember.

MW99.

As the resident quasi Alpha...........yes. beleive it or not, a self proclamied Alpha, hey, I get the women, I've got the adivce.

as the resident Alpha, I know plenty other Alpha's and betas out there who just lack the gotgetthem stuff.

All you need is confidence in yourself.

Trust me, it works. I would know, I have plenty of women. and their issues.

Check out some of OP's other threads.

ok... so let's have a look at that list...

that's actually two... but I've never met anyone with NO sense of humor - not even prudes...
Do you ever watch a movie and laugh?



I think that's most men, but aspies in particular... you can learn to fake it.



more opportunities to kiss and make up.



what ... itchy...
still probably most men.



Not all women need to go OUT to have fun.



You mean you don't care?
Whatever...



Your height or some other dimension.
As Yoda said: "Judge me by my size?".
Women make a bit of noise about size but in the end, most of them don't really want a monster.



Find an orphan.



She can probably fix that.

Reinforcing self-pity is not helping at all. This was not a cry for help. It was a blatant "woe is me" from someone perfectly content in his misery. I can say this because I used to be there. I used to be the guy who would rather have pitied myself than worked to overcome the things that were in my power to change.

Almost everything Mw99 listed can be overcome with sheer force of will and determination. Note the language: "unable, trouble, tendency, indisposed, unwilling..." Key word there is 'unwilling'.

Telling someone to have confidence is like telling your car to run without gas. If you don't have confidence, you have to work around it, that is if you actually want to change. It's not about being alpha, beta, gamma, epsilon, or whatever. It's about knowing who and what you are and working within or around your limitations. Besides, I'd let the ladies tell us who the alpha is, and having many of them strung along does not make you an alpha, but a glutton for punishment.

Here's my line by line for Gamester's sake since I sincerely doubt Mw99 would take any of this to heart:
1. If humor is not your strength, try something else. Chances are there is a forum somewhere for discussing tings that interest you, and chances are that there is a woman who is interested in discussing them. Common interests are key, because even in an NT relationship the romantic feelings eventually subside to a pleasant memory and there needs to be something to hold you together.
2. Alpha males are typically not sentimental saps, so run with it. Besides, there are multiple languages to love, and some women do not respond as well as you'd think to affection and emotion. Verbal affirmation, gifts, and/or quality time spent in interesting conversation can be just as emotionally rewarding to some people as the more stereotypical outward displays.
3. Key word: unintentional. Unintentional offenses are pardonable, and, if given the opportunity, can be explained. Aspies do not own a monopoly on misunderstandings.
4. Yep. Same here. Very irritable. The trick here is weighing whether or not you can deal with those aspects of the other person that might get under your skin. That's why you don't rush headlong into a relationship. You might be the one who should tell her that you just want to be friends.
5. I venture to say that there are far more people who share your preference than not. See line 1.
6. Not everyone craves sex. See line 2. Some people value non-physical expressions of affection. Sex is not a prerequisite for a healthy relationship either. Yes, it is a definite bonus and a very intimate expression of affection for your partner, but any relationship you decide to pursue should be based on more profound things.
7. Size does matter, to you, but the insecurity is far more of a turn-off than the size, or lack thereof, and if it is the cause of your asexual disposition you need to put it in check. Trump the size issue with sexual skill and generosity. If it requires some learning, read, watch instructional videos, talk to women about their needs.
8. There's the key word. Unwilling. Unless you find someone with no familial attachments you will eventually deal with this issue. But, chances are, if you find someone you're compatible with this will not be such a massive hurdle to overcome.
9. If you're contributing to their expenses or utilities, or actually renting your room, assisting with the every day operation of the house, and helping them out however you can, then you're doing them a respectable service, and moving out would be worse than staying. If you're a leech and are not living up to the responsibilities of adulthood, then you do not yet qualify for an adult relationship.

Two observations:

1) I fit the first five on your list so maybe you're not alone here. Sex can be fun so #6 is out and I haven't received any complaints (or laughter) so that deals with #7. As for #8, my girlfriend's Mother is in her 90's and not all that aware of what's going on around her and my parents died years ago. That only leaves #9 so I'll put this as delicately as possible. LEAVE HOME ! !

2) Depressed people when asked to list all their attributes only give the negative ones. As an exercise try sitting down and listing nine positive things about yourself. List 'em on this thread when you're done thinking about it.

Happy New Year !

Ed Almos

You would not date a woman who would be willing to date you.

I don't have those turn-offs and I still have trouble attracting women--even people on the spectrum.

Tim